Bottled Up

I took all my thoughts and put them into a bottle. It was floating in the ocean until a giant whale came along and swallowed it. They now sit idle in a whale's belly. Sorry whale for causing you indigestion or constipation.

I have been fighting the urge to put everything into draft mode and go quietly into the night but that would not be conducive to having more fun with some of my favourite people. Plus I'm thinking of Posey.

Here's to hoping that regular posting will resume in good time.

A Loaf of Bread, a Container of Milk and a Stick of Butter

This is what happens when I should join in on Wordless Wednesday but instead go the route of rambling. It seems that I am slightly manic. I have a persistent, mild headache that feels like I have drank thirty cups of coffee on two hours of sleep. Not so.

I am feeling the itch for something new. I need to mix in spice. There is a fiery craving for change. I imagine this is the state that drove Britney to shave her head. It is a good thing I am not in need of rehab.

I desperately need to switch to the unappetizing "KH diet" while hitting the gym for intense workouts for the next twenty days straight but that is not likely to happen. I will be breaking out the summery clothes in Austin for SXSW. It will be a sweet change of scenery especially being that it will not stop snowing in Toronto. Every time I venture outside it is snowing. Right now… Snowing.

I took the girls grocery shopping on Monday and then we went to rent a pony video because I obviously enjoy strange forms of torture even though I protest loudly. There was a special moment that I etched to my memory as I held each of their small hands and made our way walking in the freshly falling fluffy snow.

I let them torment Colin with the pony escapades while I cooked dinner. We ate our plateful of creamy carbs and then the girls helped me make mini blueberry muffins for room nine's bake sale. Strawberry topped each muffin with an extra blueberry chanting, "One for me, one for the muffin." I felt all warm and fuzzy. It was a splendid way to mark the first official Ontario family day!

The other thing making me smile is that within twenty four hours, ten people from all different parts of North America stopped by this post to find out how race car drivers relieve themselves. I am no authority on such matters. For the record, I personally have a bladder of steel and can go nine hours without having to make a pit stop. Of course that is only if I have not been hanging out with blogging friends pounding back beverages causing tipsiness. With that said, I would not be partaking in any race car events after that kind of fun. **No cars have actually been raced by me.

Heart Warming

Oh most beautiful Internets,

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

You are always there. As if by magic, you know exactly what I need. You lift me up when I am feeling low. You wrap me in comfort with acceptance. I am never alone because somewhere out there you are sitting and staring back at the glow of a computer screen. Somehow you stumbled your way here and then sometimes you even make your back!

For that I give you my undying love.

xoxo...



That makes me feel a bit dirty. What is this blog turning into? Oh my!

Okay, this one is a little more heartwarming.

I am Canadian

The bitter cold, drifting snow turned my fifteen minute drive home into a ninety minute stressful, snow rage, cursing session.

Moondial

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It's Not Always Smiles and Giggles

First things first. Thank you to everyone who left the most awesome, thoughtful, intelligent comments on my last post. The understanding and support that this medium holds amazes me. I colour the people that come by my little spot happy shades because you all brighten my blue.

There is certainly enough guilt to go around for everyone. I am over thinking things. If I wasn't thinking, I would be exercising and that would just be frightful.

Now on to new business... Have you seen Jon and Kate Plus 8? They have twin six-year-old daughters and a set of sextuplets that are three. They have eight times the madness. Eight is enough. No actually eight is unimaginable. They have a remarkably clean house and even more wondrous is that they get all the children dressed and they leave the house. They go out! I get tired just thinking about it. Not to mention that they have a camera crew recording the daily insanity. I would lose.my.mind. I'm in awe. I have huge admiration for these parents.

A few more of us and we could rule the roost!

There are days when two parents and two children leave us feeling matched. Other days make me wish to become octopus like and grow eyes in the back of my head. Negotiating with two in public can drain you faster than a keg at fraternity party. However nothing can stop a Mom About Town. Metro Mama has given me a prime slot to share a day out in the city.

I can barely lift my arms to the keyboard. It seems that walking around the Science Centre taking turns holding our daughters is a great work out. Before heading over to KidSpark, we thought we would tour through the Titanic: The Artifact Exhibition.

Continue reading here...

Over Scheduled

Children love routine so I cannot figure out why the daycare drop-off is incredibly difficult. The tears shed could fill an ocean. It is not just the goodbye moment either. I have witnessed other parents dealing with the uncontrollable tantrums upon arriving at daycare. The mom losing her patience quickly asking her child what is wrong. I give the empathy smile and make a swift exit. Move along. There is nothing to see.

I know that ours is a good daycare and that the crying does not stem from a bigger problem. Of course children want to be with their parents but even more so I know that my children would prefer to be lounging around the house in their pajamas, playing with their own toys and watching a marathon of cartoons.

Once again I am afraid that in some circumstances I may be spoiling my children. I might be letting them get away with more because I do not have the ability to be with them for most of the day. When it comes right down to it, I know I carry working mom guilt. I am afraid of all the time that I am losing out on that I can never get back. The tears are little confirmation markers that me feel like I am making the wrong choices.

Yet the days when they happily skip away to join their group also leave a hole in my heart. Toddlers are not supposed to be independent. Please don't get me wrong. I do want my children to be well adjusted but I also want them to prefer spending their days with me. I also want myself to be a well adjusted person. After living three decades not as a mother it is hard to morph out of everything else into a full on parenting role.

The weekends are mighty short. The down time I need to regroup and gain strength to carry through another week while I jam pack in family time flies by. Work days are too long. Weekends are too short. Could this be another balancing act in wanting to have it all?

If I pulled them out of daycare and became a stay at home parent, the level of care that they are given would go down. I cannot do the same job that the current teams of workers provide. They have kitchen staff that prepares a variety of healthy lunches and snacks. They have scheduled indoor and outdoor activities. They have a zillion art projects. They have interaction and socialization with children in their age group. I most certainly am not the overachiever that could organize this as a daily occurrence.

Maybe the reason for the crying is because it is human nature to want to spend our time with less structure and more room for relaxation. There are mornings where I have struggled not to burst into tears at the thought of the work load that lies ahead of me. As we are adults we learn to push that feeling aside because there are expectations put on us. Are organized toddler activities pushing our children into the work world too soon?

When we are a family unit I let them have a little too much TV and give in to their requests for treats too often. Does this make them value listlessness? Will my desire to work, make my children lazy? Am I over thinking this because I wish I could spend more time with them? Am I worried about this because that just comes with parenting?

Parents of children in less structured daycares and homecare please let me know if you too experience irrepressible sobbing on many mornings long after you have established a routine.

Problem Solving

Strawberry sat at the table eyeing the cheeseburger on her plate.

"Mom. This burger is so big."

"Would you like to me cut it into smaller pieces?"

"No, I need a bigger head."

*******************

I am discussing things that are on my shopping list over at Pop Rocks.

Oooh, Baby, Baby

Oh the fun we have
Sing Push it, Push it real good
Over and over.

It's the master plan
Who knew 1986
Would get the job done?

Here in the bathroom
We sit and sing a plenty
Cause it's potty time!

Sure I am still beating myself up about being a failure and yet I am singing in the bathroom, because that's how I roll. I am looking forward to being done with diapers. Potty on my friends...