Thursday, January 31, 2008

Letdown

As per usual we have another hectic morning. I never cease to be disappointed in myself when I glance at the clock in the dash of my car as I pull out of the garage.

Late again.

My only explanation is that we travel through a time warp tunnel as we walk from the house to the garage. I lose ten minutes in those fifteen steps. We arrive at Strawberry's school and get hit by the buttery scent of popcorn.

Popcorn day.

Why don't they include this information on the monthly calendar that they hand out? There must be a reason I have it on my fridge next to my children's artwork, photos and worthless lottery tickets.

I reach into my jacket pocket to give Strawberry my change. I am hoping for fifty cents but I only feel crumpled tissues. My other jacket has the coins that I need. My purse is left behind in the car. Strawberry's big round eyes look up to me with heartbreak. She knows that her mom can't provide the goods. I had given her change a while back so in a last ditch attempt we go through her jacket pockets. There we discover a handful of pebbles and one penny.

I'm sorry.

Her body droops and she slowly inches towards her classroom defeated. Her sadness weighs me down. While it's only popcorn, it feels like overwhelming disappointment all because of me.

The person that she depends on.

8 Singing the blues:

Serendipity, baby! said...

Maybe you can make popcorn tonight instead? I loved home made caramel popcorn as a kid and it's remarkably easy to make:

Melt butter and brown sugar in a frying pan, add vanila and bring it all to a boil (keeping little hands away, this stuff is like molten lava), and just as it's all bubbling (but before it burns) add a little dash of milk, then pour it over popcorn and stir it all together, and voila! Better than any crappy school popcorn. I'd deliver if you lived closer.

motherbumper said...

It is a time warp. Trust me, we have one between the door and the subway.

Well you are a rockin' mom so these small f'ups are what make you human. And I agree, why isn't popcorn day on the calendar? (you know when we get to nursery, I'm gonna be doing the exact same thing ;).

Redneck Mommy said...

That feeling sucks. I know it firsthand.

kgirl said...

God it's easy to feel horrible when you're a mother. Don't worry; she'll forgive you long before you will.

kittenpie said...

OH, poor mommy. It feels terrible, but I bet she forgets fast, because she'll have a sance party with you this weekend and all manner of other awesomeness. And yeah, I'm not sure why it seems to take 40 minutes to get coats on and walk the 10 minutes to daycare, either...

Don Mills Diva said...

Aww - that sucks. Wouldn't someone at the daycare spot 50 cents?

Kyla said...

We're had those things happen, too. I always feel just terrible, probably worse than poor BubTar. He forgets quickly and I tend to offer an alternative special treat once were home...but I STILL feel guilty. Joys of parenting.

b*babbler said...

It never ceases to amaze me how this road to parenthood is lined with pitfalls.