Tuesday, January 02, 2007

I Want My Sexy Back

It's a fresh year and so begins the time to make resolutions. I know that a promise to maintain a regular gym routine is a realistic as personally ending world hunger. Both are excellent goals but I have as much chance of achieving them as Britney Spears has for keeping her undies on.

After having two children by way of cesarean and way too many sleepless nights in the span of three years, any sign of youth has left without a trace. Standing in the office washroom, the florescent lighting can make anyone look like a distant relative of Medusa. I stared at my two month roots and au naturel skin crying out for makeup to create a more "natural look." My once flat stomach appears to be more in proportion to my hips. I can't help but laugh at myself for longing to resemble a pear once again. I half taught Strawberry the "don't wanna be flabby anymore" jingle on the way to daycare. We laughed ourselves silly.

While I was getting ready the other day, I cranked some music to dance around our bedroom a la Cameron Diaz when Colin walked in. I felt more self conscious than usual as he giggled at me. Yes my husband most definitely giggles. He also talks on the phone like a school girl. (There you go sweetie. That teaches you for laughing at me!)

The girls in my office have been threatening to take me clubbing but if I can't even dance in my own bedroom in front of my husband, how will I ever get on the dance floor surrounded by tipsy, trendy twenty-somethings? The shock and horror in their eyes at the sight of my jiggling curves will have me buying the entire bar multiple rounds of shooters.

I have spent my entire fashion budget on my toddlers as I refuse to set foot in front of those horrid mirrors you find in change rooms. As my post-baby body has reshaped itself, my entire wardrobe is out of style and doesn't quite fit right.

I don't want to be the woman who got married, became a baby making machine and let herself go. It is likely a common desire to have the self confidence that causes men to sneak a double glance and makes other women want to be your friend. More importantly I need that extra energy that comes with feeling fit.

While I'm not making any official New Year's Resolutions, I have deemed 2007 the Year of Action! And just maybe I'll finally get my first tattoo.

23 Singing the blues:

Mother Bumper said...

Were you reading my diary again???? Can I come when you get the tattoo?

I don't even recognize myself any more, I think I aged ten years when I gave birth. I lost most of the weight but uh... stuff didn't go back in the same place and things don't fit the same. But I'm beginning to find things I like and I'm pledging to start wearing the make-up again and maybe spend a little on my wardrobe instead. I want to look good for myself. And I also I want to stop babbling :)

In the words of cajun man "you can do it!".

Jodi said...

I know what you mean - I refuse to look like a mom.

I got my first tattoo in 2006 - so I say "go for it".

Jodi said...

I know what you mean - I refuse to look like a mom.

I got my first tattoo in 2006 - so I say "go for it".

Izzy said...

Dude...the dressing rooms are brutal. Bad lighting plus the ability to see your whole self from behind... I blogged a couple days ago about seeing my back fat in the Target dressing room. Arrrrghhhh!

I brought two human beings into this world and THIS is my reward? NOT FAIR!

crazymumma said...

I've been thinking about a tattoo as well...
Anyway, get fit, I say a bit of everything so you don't get bored and LOTS of sit ups and back extensions. Sorry, i'm a bit of a (failed) gym junkie.
I for one think you are way hot. so there....

Wendy said...

I don't think you shoud feel self conscious about the way you look at all Jana. Judging from your pics, you're a cutey. So if you want to dance around in your under-roos, then go for it. Shake it baby! And so what if something might jiggle a little bit. I think after 30 and/or having children, whe all have some jiggly bits.

For years, I also wanted to get a tattoo. A few months ago I decided to stop talking about it and finally did it and I'm glad I did.

mamatulip said...

The post-child body is hard, isn't it? I was looking at my girls the other day and how they aren't perky the way they used to be...before children.

And go for the tattoo. They're addictive, though. I'm just sayin'.

Lisa b said...

Oh I know what you mean about the clothes...
I thought you had a tattoo though?
Also I think you are a total babe. Hit the clubs and just laugh at those 20 somethings. They have no idea what is coming!

chelle said...

I say if it is something you really want make it happen. Sparks.com is a great resource that a lot of people have found success. Weight Watchers helps a lot of post-baby moms too.

After I got married I lost 40 lbs. I felt so so good about myself and as a woman. I have these like far off goals that I want to be in the best shape ever by the time I am 35 (being pregnant gives me a little time I figure *wink*)

Just make small goals so you do not get frustrated and give up.

ali said...

i really really really want a tattoo...would never get one...but i really want one! on my lower back...

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

Oh, you totally need to get that tattoo...I'll come with you, I have 2 and I want another.

Also, this was a great post too, ya know! I know what it feels like to have your body go all haywire on you. And I only have one kid. I think you are admirable to take back your body, it will make you feel much better about things...I'm trying to take mine back too...With a strong whip and not cool whip.

Good luck.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Get out of my head, woman! For what it's worth, I think you should go out clubbing. Screw the 20-somethings. Dancing is a fun way to exercise and sweat, just stick to low-cal cocktails. ;)

Jennifer said...

I know exactly how you feel, Jan - I'm trying to hit the gym once a week and get out more often. Want to be each other's "pushers"? I remember a certain girl who could dance all night - with me right next to her...maybe we could do that again sometime...?

ewe are here said...

Oh geez. I'm going to be right there with you after I have this second wee one in March. I want to get back into my clothes! And feel fit! And healthy!

Happy New Year - good luck!

kittenpie said...

HOney I totally hear you, but for what it's worth, I think you look great and am always bowled over by how happy and confident you seem - I think you're great as you are!

And if you like, I'll come with you to get that tattoo. It's not really that bad.

niloc said...

I see the headlines now... Mommy Bloggers Gone Wild at Tattoo Parlor! (Just remember that it’s not recommended to go boozing before or after.)

I had a friend with me when I had my tat done. Two girls came into the shop when I was in the chair. They were going to get a nice girlie butterfly. One of the guys at the shop was holding a mop and the girls asked what the mop was for. My buddy quickly jumped in... "That’s for mopping up your blood!" They took him serious and turned as white as a sheet.

metro mama said...

You and I should get drunk, go dancing, and get a tattoo.

Jenifer said...

Well my sister in law is a tattoo artist and I need some motivation.....so come on down!

Seriously...I made it through November keeping my gym schedule...and then December hit and I fell off the pumpkin truck... I am also resolving to "get back into action!" this year!

scarbie doll said...

How is it that you don't have a tattoo? I always peg you as being more of a ruffian than you really are. (So says the wuss who never got a tattoo either.)

Um, and where is this half-price HD? And why are you not disclosing the location?

Mrs. Chicken said...

Ahhh. Yes, me too. I am starting Weight Watchers on Monday. I finally decided I don't feel well, and that got me moving.

Nancy said...

I'm with you on Svelte in 2007. I am ready to lose this post-baby weight.

Happy New Year!

Girl con Queso said...

I so hear you!!! You go! Cheers for action!

Bloor West Mama said...

Best of luck...I too have vowed to get off my ass and do something...but many times life is just too hectic.