Sunday, March 08, 2009

Pudding

Tonight I sit at the old desktop because the laptop is afflicted with viruses. Much like my life.

I’m surrounded by clutter. I wish nothing more than to dispose of it all. I am not clinging to any sentimental attachment. Much like my life.

These words make their way onto my computer screen and I suppose they come across as dismal but that is not the page that I am on.

I have come to feel like powder. I am reduced to sugar crystals being poured into boiling water. At first I felt like I was dissolving into nothing but then I made the realization that I am evolving.

Perfect songs fill my headphones. It’s late and the music is loud. I keep feeling the presence of someone walking towards me but I am alone with the children sleeping in the next room.

I flip from window to window. I am trying not to read into everything and failing. If it is hard for me to make heads or tails, how can I expect someone removed to understand? Right now there is comfort in the open-ended questions. I think I have what I need and I will take it.

The song will play again. The clutter will dissipate. I will be anew.

4 Singing the blues:

kgirl said...

These words prove that you know yourself, mama. Trust them.

Sandra said...

Kgirl is right.

Hugs to you beautiful evolving lady.

xo

metro mama said...

Sounds like you're on the right track.

I've been thinking about you. Time to go out for drinks soon, no?

xo

crazymumma said...

wait. what is that thing we have all done? dissolve sugar in water. Stir. Then set a stick in it and an unbelievably beautiful sugar crystal forms.

yeah. thats it.

thats you.