Saturday, March 18, 2006

Weight of the world

Today everything came crashing down. It's been spiraling down for some time. I was completely emotionally drained. All because of the post I'll never post. If I don't talk about it, then it's not real. Yes, I know, I'm in denial. In general, I'm such an open book that it's probably good to have a few secrets.

I hate having my kids see me depressed. It's not fair to them. There are such bigger issues in the world. Other people have much larger problems. The guilt was seeping in. I wanted to snap out of it but the thoughts kept streaming in.

Words, words, words… circling around. Polluting my mind.

Before children, when it all became too much, I would crawl into bed and sleep for twenty-two hours. It was the best way to turn off the words. That is just not an option anymore.

I could just follow Tom Cruise's advice and take some vitamins. Yah, right. That will make it all better.

I could put on the Arctic Monkey's CD and bounce around with Strawberry laughing and imitating me. That would take energy.

Hubby, who suffered much abuse today, knew I was at my breaking point so he came to the rescue. He told me to go have some me time. Ever so slowly, I tripped to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and sat myself down in front of the computer. I started surfing blogs.

The words of others removed me from my thoughts. I began to feel like a human being again. Other moms reminded me of the joys in my life. Life was manageable again.

I returned to my family, cranked some tunes, made a half decent meal and watched the Leafs suffer another loss. They need to read your blogs.

7 Singing the blues:

Kristen said...

Hey there ~

Thanks for visiting me! I hope you get to feeling better. I have to say I have my moments - yesterday was one of them...

A little blog reading (and writing) goes a long way...

nonlineargirl said...

I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Good that your guy is there for you.

I think we'd ALL feel better if we saw more photos of the cat with things on its head. (Ok, maybe I'm just looking for something to make me feel less guilty about doing the same thing to my daughter.)

scarbie doll said...

Hey, glad I found your blog. Love your colour scheme :)

I like your dry sense of humour. I feel like we have a lot in common. I'll probably be pestering you in the near future to give me the DL on life with two kids.

Sorry you're bummed. Glad I could make you laugh.

Stephanie said...

Sometimes you just need to step back and take time for yourself. I am so glad to hear that you were able to do that AND feel better.

moe said...

It is wonderful that your hubby saw you needed help and gave you some time instead of throwing the abuse back. And good for you for taking the time you need. My heart goes out to you. Oh, and vitamins yeah that'll work. Maybe if Tom's willing to deliver them in person with a whack o cash and a nanny!

something blue said...

Thanks everyone for the kind words. Your blogs work wonders for me.

Not to mention I've been popping m&m's like they're some kind of miracle vitamin. Your right Tom, they really work! Now if you could just deliver that whack o cash...

Oh and scarbie doll - That's our Canadian humour. The British have their own, why can't we?

Lisa said...

Sorry you had such a bad day. Glad to hear the hubby rescued you.