Lacking Bower Power

Being a mom I know how difficult it can be to squeeze in a shower. Well I have a confession to make. The last time I had a shower was on December 3, 2005. I bet you can smell me from your computer.

In November, I headed west with our girls to visit my family. Colin decided this was his golden opportunity to fix the leaky bathtub faucet. He had always hated our bathroom tile and this motivated him to tear it all out. Then out came the flooring, tub, sink and toilet. Finally goodbye walls. After three weeks without us, he had still not gotten around to reinstalling the necessary bathroom pieces. Of course, I hastily decided that we would extend our time out west. I couldn't help but tease him that Ty Pennington can tear down, rebuild and decorate an ENTIRE home in seven days... What the hell was going on with our tiny bathroom? I know that is hardly fair but I couldn't resist. Not to mention that was one of the more loving phone exchanges that happened during this period.

Living through renovations is dreadful. Colin's had little time to dedicate to the project that he insists on doing entirely himself. Four months with an open concept bathroom leaves absolutely no chance of having guests over. We finally have the exterior wall and door back up. Oh, I remember that word now... Privacy.

We don't have the floor down so Colin hasn't put in the sink. I hate brushing my teeth in the kitchen so I will blame him for my gingivitis.

Our new deep Jacuzzi tub is great for relaxing but impossible to lean over in order to bath an infant. Once again my back problems are his fault. I swear our new tub is defective. After one week, the stench from the jets is so powerful that I believe it would be wonderful to have Michael Jackson's nose. The recommended heavy duty cleaning procedure that, according to the manual is required every three months is a weekly occurrence. This is a serious pain. I'm at the point where I say throw the damn expensive tub out and get me a cheap ass one.

I dream of having a quick shower. This won't happen until the bathroom is completed. No tile equals no shower. At the rate we are going, my next shower will likely occur in 2011.

I never feel clean by bath alone. Remove mind from gutter. The theory of the good ole days was to shower (get rid of the grime), bath (relax) and shower (rinse clean). At the very least a bath consists of the bath/shower aka "bower."

Do all men procrastinate home renovations? Is my husband trying to torture me? For now, the closest I'll come to a real bathroom is viewing Scarbie doll's heavenly retreat.


Desperate for a pedicure. Oh and some walls would be nice.