In the land of temptation

My claim to fame used to be that I was the girl in Grade Two that could hold the V sit the longest. I had abs that every seven year old girl was envious of. Okay I gave absolutely no thought to stomach muscles until much later.

Now I find myself tugging at my shirts, wishing that they were just a little longer. I picture strangers running, screaming in the opposite direction if they accidentally caught a glimpse of my muffin top. It's a scene from a cheesy horror film Night of the Living Double C-section Tummy.

So when I discovered the latest Friday Challenge over at Martinis for Milk, I knew it was time for me to take action. My plan of attack is to replace sugary beverages with boring water. Stop eating after 9 P.M. Increase my fiber intake because it would be a healthy thing to do. Avoid treats. Accelerate my heartbeat with some (do I dare use the E word? Okay just this once...) exercise.

First off I needed to find my scale. I haven't weighed myself for at least seven months. As with most women, the scale is not my best friend. We don't see eye to eye. He often lies to me and calls me nasty names while I stand naked on him begging for a lower number.

It was a scary moment of truth as I stepped on. I stepped off and back on again. Could it be? It wasn't as bad as I had prepared myself for. Whew! It seems that my weight has just redistributed itself in new pockets of undesirable curves. Ten pounds less then my current number will bring about a number that I might be able to say out loud. Of course I mean when no one else is in the room.

We live a hop, skip and a jump from a grocery store so I will almost daily stroll over to pick up a couple items. With my new agenda in mind, I set about trying to get only a couple necessities. In order to get milk, I had to pass muffins, cookies, pies, tarts, cheesecakes and brownies. So far so good.

Strawberry then sees the birthday cakes. As her special day is almost upon us, we had to pay them a visit. She excitedly pointed to the colourful, delectable frosty icings. I spy Mother's Day cupcakes calling out to me, "You deserve me! Take me home." Back off pink cupcakes. I'm not going to buy you for myself. You'll have to wait for another mom to consume your empty calories.

I zoom towards the checkout line. I'll just pick up some frozen juice. That's where the Dufflet desserts were hanging out. My mouth was beyond watering. I had to get out of there fast. I was doing so great that I thought I deserved a treat. I shielded myself from visions of other scrumptious sweets, snatched up an expensive salad and zipped through the express checkout lane. Victory is mine!

So I was eating my wilted lettuce and surfing my favourite blogs only to discover chocolate is trying to hunt me down. I must not give in. I repeated this a gazillion times, chanting away the deep craving. Summer is coming and I've agreed to do this Friday challenge. However challenging this one may be.