What a way to make a living!

While it does break my heart to see my baby cry when I drop her off at daycare, the office is a place that rejuvenates my soul. I'm starting to feel like a whole person again with the addition of goobers on my left shoulder. There is no avoiding Buttercup wiping her nose or her mouth on me before I head into the work place.

I must remember to bring some plastic utensils because my office does not have hot water to wash said eating tools. Today with every spoonful of yogurt I did some mental gagging.

I disappeared for eleven months and damn if someone didn't swipe my speakers and my space heater. We are a music company. There should be speakers for everyone. In my daily duties it is unavoidable that I will come across many classic song titles. It never fails that one line of a song will enter my head on repeat driving me a little batty. It sounds exactly like a record skipping in my brain. Luckily the intern has been warned that I am getting her good speakers tomorrow and hers will be replaced with some cheapies. Oh no, I got her to run out to grab coffee. Do you think she spat in mine?

The executives are using my relaxed state of mind to swindle me into doing intense projects with short deadlines. There is nothing like jumping into the fire.

My confidence has been boosted my staff who are gushing that I have finally returned to the grind. Secretly they may only be happy that my presence frees them from some of the things that have fallen into their laps.

When we achieve success, I break out into a chorus of "We did it! We did it! Lo hicimos!" Ok maybe not actually out loud.

The daily joys are endless. I totally forgot how much fun it is to use the paper shredder! I should bring the paper bits home for Party Potty time.

I still want to know who left all the dirty fingerprints on my computer screen. I really ought to disinfect my keyboard and telephone. The office is a breeding ground for germs. It is second in line to daycare.

Invitations to work social events have been rolling in. Really honey, it's not another party, it's work. I must attend!

All of these activities have given me a wake up call. This is a big part of who I am. I'm relieved that it brings some happiness amongst the guilt. I'm trying hard not to whine so I won't get into how seeing small children during office hours makes my heart shudder. How I know that I have been the entire world to Buttercup for the last eleven months that span her entire life. This separation anxiety that she is facing is also something that I have to deal with. She is such a different baby than Strawberry whose face always lit up with joy at our return at the end of the day. Buttercup on the other hand catches a glimpse at a familiar face and breaks out in another round of fresh tears. The hurt that she feels is excruciating. But no, I won't get into that.

I will order yet another coffee and plunge deeper into my demanding work load.