Friday, August 18, 2006

Hot Hot Hotties

It feels like the hottest of men have emerged from some secret land. Of course when I was single they were hidden away from the light of day. They were afraid of being eaten by dinosaurs because that is the last time I was single. Now married (but certainly not dead), I find hotties popping up everywhere; at the grocery store; coffee shop; walking past me on the street...

Their jeans fit just right, their hair is bed head tousled and they are oozing appeal like melted butter dripping off hot corn. I silently beg them not to return my look with their intense eyes or I might just erupt. Are they all male underwear models? I ask of them, “Could you take off those 501's? I think I recognize you.”

In Canada everyone hibernates in the winter. They are tucked away with their big screen televisions watching Hockey Night in Canada, only to emerge from May to October with the exception of a few beer runs. Now they are out in full force and surprisingly I seem to have caught them without a tag along supermodel giving me the evil eye to back down my stolen glance.

I suck in my muffin top, lower my long lashes and my thumb naturally seeks out my ring finger. Yup, wedding band is still there. No vow is broken. It's only a tall cool drink. A refreshing reminder that I have blood rushing through my body.

I don't feel guilt. I am allowed to entertain thoughts of appreciation for the beauty of the opposite sex when I come across a fine specimen. According to the Kinsey Institute, the average man thinks about sex approximately every two minutes. If sleeping hours are included that is a whopping 720 times a day. They don't need a woman of extraordinary beauty to spark their train of thought. I have heard male friends comment on the trashiest of women being good for a few minutes of fun. It only takes a revealing outfit or boobs a plenty for them to know that they are still breathing.

Today it was the officer directing traffic that made me feel like a schoolgirl. It's not typical for me to get all flustered upon spotting a man in uniform. That's not what gets my motor running. It may have been the way the morning sun beat down on him with his super cool shades. He held such power, blocking the opposing metal machines, beckoning with his hands the come hither signal. I'm not allowed to look away. I made that right hand turn with a smile. And a sigh.

22 Singing the blues:

carrie said...

Aaaaah, it must be in the air (either that or we're all ovulating)!!! My friend and I wagged our tongues at several hot daddies at the zoo yesterday, we thought we'd hit the jackpot in the eye candy department!

Carrie

Nicole said...

Nothing wrong with a little fantasy life!! It may spice up the reality, too, right?

metro mama said...

There's nothing like a man in uniform.

No harm in looking!

Marla said...

I know this feeling - it bit me in the a$$ a few weeks ago. Walking home after a couple of beers, bad coffee and great pie with the girlfriends, I passed a new little eatery that had recently opened. It was closed for the night, but the door was open. Chairs were on the tables, but, visible from the door, all of the candles were lit and gathered on one table near the bar. Seated was a tousle-headed skinny young guy whose t-shirt fell from his shoulders in a way that made me sigh. He was strumming a guitar, and singing to himself - something melancholy. I turned into a puddle of teenage hormones on the spot...but kept walking home, hoping he didn't see the old broad leering at him, harshing his mellow.

There's nothing like that feeling - but thankfully, my daughter and husband give me equally great ones. Different, but great.

Sigh.

nonlineargirl said...

Noticing beauty is good. Flirting, or even a hint of it, is even better for you. The attention of the cute guy at the grocery store who jokes with me makes me feel beautiful. Nice comments from the bartender at a friend's wedding are flattering, even when I know he's doing that to everyone in hopes of better tips.

kittenpie said...

I had a little giggle myself the other day when I tripped lightly walking up Philosopher's Walk and some cute young thing smiled and said - solicitously, not sarcastically - "Be careful." I hope he wasn't worried about me breaking a hip...

Mother Bumper said...

I'm soooo "no harm in lookin'" kinda gal. The other night while out walking Bumper I saw the hotest cutie I'd seen in a long time. Tall, Robert Plant hair, cool jeans that fit.just.right. And as he ambled towards us with his sexy swagger, he suddenly lit up with a smile. Yeah, yeah... not for me but for Bumper. "Cute baby" he said. "Cute kid" I thought. Sigh.

Damn. I love this post.

lildb said...

oy. I -- well, harumph. I feel as undersexed as ever.

this post is hottt.

Ruth Dynamite said...

"I suck in my muffintop..."

Too funny.

AC said...

I make my forhead relax...hoping that they will not realize how badly I need Botox. Summer can steam thing up....take it home with you, your man will love it...

chelle said...

hehehe I always peek a little...

Sunshine Scribe said...

I am blushing ... but only because you described me to a tee .. I am all about the window shopping is fine and look but don't touch philopsophy.

Yesterday there was an adonis eating at the next table when I was out for lunch and I could barely concentrate :)

Mom101 said...

"If ogling you is wrong I don't wanna be right."

yesterday for me it was some clean-smelling fox with perfectly toussled black hair, leaning casually against the Banana Republic while talking on his cell phone. I swear, I could have pulled him into the alley and done him right there.

mamatulip said...

A refreshing reminder that I have blood rushing through my body.

Yes. YES!

This was such a fun post. :)

cameo said...

yesterday, it was a construction worker. stuck next to him at a stop light. trying to catch a sideways glance without turning my head. thank god for sunglasses. felt a little guilt, then got over it!

Her Bad Mother said...

Where are you seeing these men? WHERE? I wants me some!

Chantal said...

What gets me is that the guys I'm checking out are getting younger and younger. I'm a DIRTY OLD LADY!

And uniforms are a new vice for me too. Ambulance drivers, firemen, police officers. As long as I'm not catcalling crossing guards I think I'm still sane!

Mommy off the Record said...

I got all hot under the collar just reading this post! LOL

(Not that there's anything wrong with a little fantasizing, but am I correct in guessing that your husband doesn't read your blog?)

niloc said...

not only do i read her blog i totally applaud her writing. how many guys get a glimpse at the way their wife thinks? i think it's great she has the confedence to write and express herself the way she does.

Pattie the Domesticator said...

*Sigh*
This post is just another reminder of how good it is to be alive! :)

cara said...

I had a major crush on a guy when I was about 15 and I saw him the other day near my mother's house. I was walking along with my young son when he came towards me. He said Hello and I just kind of nodded. Was overcome with teenage embarrassment. And I am only 31!!

Long live being attracted to the opposite sex. You might as well be dead otherwise.

Kristen said...

Definitely no harm in looking- but around these parts- there's not much eye candy! LOL.