Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Where I Reveal My Outer Dweeb

Ooh-wee! I got to talk to a few of my favorite bloggers! Kristen, Lena and Mrs. Chicky on Kristen's BlogTalkRadio show! I was so nervous to chat with these amazing women that I am sure that I sounded like an utter buffoon. Duh!

The topic that was being discussed was the decision to have more than one child. Of course I've already made that choice. I am lucky to have my two easygoing girls. I did share that I find it much easier with two.

Tantrums are diffused, routines are easier to follow and eventually as they get older, they do entertain each other. I remember when Strawberry wouldn't let me dress her to go to daycare. I was pregnant with Buttercup, usually running late for work and I'd be up against a wall trying to get Strawberry ready to leave the house. Some days I would break down in tears as I exhausted myself trying everything. Getting her to sit in her car seat was another daily battle. It was pure torture. However now that Buttercup is in the picture, everything is peachy. Even when the little one starts being a fuss pot, the older one will sing her songs or give her a toy to make her feel better.

I credit the fact of knowing what size of family I desire to my daydreams of the future. I don't picture myself with babies or even young children. My long range vision is always of our children as young adults coming back home for meals and celebrations. I do imagine that there will be many bumps along the way but the end goal is to have raised happy, well adjusted individuals that enjoy their parents company.

Selfishness is a funny word when it comes to parenting. It is used to describe so many groups of people. A co-worker once expressed that it is selfish to want children. She refused to have any children because she felt that people procreate so that they have someone to look after them when they got old. As an independent person this would never cross my mind as a reason to have children. I hope that I don't become a burden to my children.

Parents of only children are called selfish because they don't give their child a sibling. Everyone who has a brother or sister knows that there is often a lot of fighting going on with that supposed playmate. It is not until we mature that we value our siblings with great appreciation.

Some parents with one child find it selfish to want a second because they don't want to divide up their time between two. Time, money and love are not really things that can be measured with children. Even though I too complain that there is not enough time in a day or money for everything, when it comes to children those are three things that work themselves out. It's like life after you get a raise. You don't really see the extra money that you are earning. It disburses itself naturally and you would find it very hard to go back to having to your previous lifestyle. This holds true with children.

Now whether we want more than two... that is still up for debate.

11 Singing the blues:

chelle said...

I am really enjoying your thoughts on having more than one child. There is no turning back now, even if I had the desire (which I so do not!)

Too cool that you had the opportunity to chat with the ladies!

mamatulip said...

I waver back and forth about having another child all the time. I've always wanted three, but Oliver is kind of like two wrapped up in one. LOL!

I think we will have another, just not for a while. Oliver's enough for now. ;)

Jodi said...

I would have been fine having one - but two is so awesome. I had no idea...

Mrs. Chicky said...

I wish I had more of a chance to talk to you last night! Another time, perhaps. :)

Kate said...

It's fun to call in - I called in last week on the topic of circumcision. You sounded great!

It was a difficult decision for us to have our second child, and it took us a while to make it, too since my sons are over 4 years apart. But we're happy we did. You can always divide your love between your kids. It's amazing how your heart just grow bigger.

tania (urban_mommy) said...

You really covered it with this post. I,l too, think into the future and vision adult children coming home for a visit, telling my and The Husband about their successes, failures and adventures. I've got it totally romanticized, but whatever.

I don't understand the thought of having a child to make sure you have someone to look after you when you are old..is that really anyone's motivation?

Deanna (Domestic Chicky) said...

I decided to have another because I was an only child, and now that my parents aren't around, I am the only one who has my memories, and I didn't want that to happen to my oldest. I wish I could have more sometimes-while it IS more work, it's a lot more fun too!

bubandpie said...

You hit the nail on the head - the word "selfish" is such an easy weapon, especially when it comes to mothering (because mothers are supposed to be selfless, right?). It's so absurd to suppose that any category of mothers is selfish - mothers of too many children or too few - it's all so silly.

ewe are here said...

Well, no turning back here, Number Two is most definitely on the way.

Will try to listen to the tape of the show later.

crazymumma said...

You know, no matter what size family one chooses or is chosen for you, the pie just gets bigger...enough for everyone. I will be so jealous of you if you decide to bring another one of those angels into the world!

I really liked what you had to say over at my place about my in laws.

sunshine scribe said...

You called into the radio show ... I must look that up and take a listen soon :)

Well I'd love nothing more than to have another but we don't always get to control those things. I am grateful for one but would be equally grateful for a dozen.