Poor husband. I confess I have been in a bit of a mood as of late. I can't seem to shake it. I have increased the volume on my stereo in hopes that the songs will block the negative thoughts from invading every crevice. I am angry at myself that I don't have profound ideas to write down. I don't have funny stories to record. Life is boring.
...I wake up and have to force myself to get on with it. I rush and rush and rush some more. I work. I try to avoid chocolate unsuccessfully. ~guilt~ I tell myself that I need the phenethylamines. I get home late. ~guilt~ I cook some food while the baby cries for me. We begin pleading with Strawberry to eat. Five more bites. Where did my brilliant little eater go? I might get a whole minute and half to zone out before I have to administer bath time. The bedtime rituals begin. On a good night I make it through all three stories before I crash. I wake up around 1:00 AM sometimes because the baby is crying. Husband is still awake watching TV and surfing on the laptop. I stumble to bed and leave him to clean the kitchen. ~guilt~…
Boring life equals boring posts equals anger at myself for not being able to propel my bitty blog, my square of web space into the immaculate promise land. Why, why is this so damn important to me? Why can't I be all too cool to desire readership? Because damn it I know what it takes to get people to return. Talent. It is the ability to churn out something interesting consistently. What I really want is not popularity. I wish for sparkly talent.
Maybe if my life wasn't so damn boring I would have better things to focus my attention on. Instead it all manifests into a funk that turns into this post that I don't want to post. I am the cranky woman driving around the mega city with her eyebrows wrinkled up, scowling and cussing at innocent bystanders.
Like the people who put "Baby on Board!" signs in their back window. My feeble mind wants to know if they are just so proud that they have a child that they feel the need to announce it to every onlooker. Or do they think that the power of their sign will alert the lackluster drivers and employ them to proceed with caution around their extra special cargo? On days like this, it makes me want to tailgate them.