Thursday, August 30, 2007

Malfunction

It never fails.
Cute shoes always end up killing your feet.
Cute toddlers always end up draining your soul.

The terrible twos have descended upon us. Throwing herself to the ground in a fit of hysterics, she tries to rip off the offending clothes that I have painfully struggled to put on her little body. There is screaming, kicking and crying. I wonder how she remembers to breathe. I kick into survival mode because I must have her dressed and out the door. This is just the start of the day. She continues to carry on her drama the entire way to daycare. I concentrate on driving the speed limit. Strawberry is close to tears because she can see that I am fuming and her little sister is obviously experiencing a traumatic event.

I take Buttercup to the toddler room. Her hair clings to her tear-stained face. Her bottom lip still quivers. She sees the daycare employee and within a brief moment her face lights up. She rushes over to give her a hug then she dismisses me with a smile and a wave.

"I love you," I reassure her. You little spawn of Satan is only a fleeting thought tacked on in my mind.

It's complete déjà vu as I went through this with Strawberry. These mornings of the world crashing in drama abruptly came to an end when she turned twenty-six months old. That was when her little sister was born and I pulled her out of daycare to spend leisure days at home with no more rushing to start the daily routine.

As there is no younger sibling in the works to rescue me from the destruction of the terrible twos, I am dreading the next three hundred and twenty-one days of hell. Like magic, on her third birthday she will turn into a picture of sweetness again, right? I am desperate for the power of reasoning through communication.

16 Singing the blues:

kgirl said...

Look at that face! I don't believe that she is anything besides a perfect angel.

nonlineargirl said...

Crap, if I'd known there was a cure, I would have gotten pregnant again! (Sounds like a vicious cycle.)

We had a similar issue today, since we needed to be out of the house at 7:25. It involved Ada repeatedly yelling "no work!" at me. Sigh.

motherbumper said...

grrrrrrreat... you're telling me that it gets worse? I'm screwed. B is already outta control. Ummmmm my only suggestion is to start drinking earlier in the day.

Alley Cat said...

They're never too young for bribery.

Mrs. Chicky said...

She's lucky she's cute.

That's what I tell myself every time Chicky pulls this on me. And Buttercup is cute. Too cute. Damn toddlers.

ewe are here said...

I used to tell people our boy MF was advanced; his 'terrible twos' started well before he turned two. ;-)

She's lucky she's so damn cute, no?

Heather Bea said...

As a mama of a newly crowned three year old I have to say that ... it actually has gotten better in the last month. Not great, but better. There are times that her almost 5yo sister is much, much worse. But boy that 18mos-3yo period was rough the second time around. As far as the first one, at 23 months when her sister arrived most of her temper tantrums went out the door.

nomotherearth said...

What a darling!

I'm afraid I'm guilty of using bribery to get out the door. Luckily the Boy thinks with his stomach.

mamatulip said...

I'll say the same thing I say to Oliver: Her saving grace is that she's cute. ;)

Kyla said...

If cuteness is an indicator of trouble, you have your hands full with her! :)

They don't end. THEY EVOLVE. At three they add a lovely little 'tude to the mix. Good luck.

Jenifer said...

I thought two was bad too... until we hit three. I am not utterly conviced three is worse. Sorry.

chelle said...

wow. Two we sailed through happily and friendly ... three oh boy three includes flushing items down the toilet and challenging EVERYTHING!

Good luck :D

Lady M said...

Well, if it's any consolation, she is soooo cute!

Lisa said...

I second what Mama T said. My son is 5 and I STILL think that. heehee

Christina said...

Been there. Oh wait, still there.

I'm sorry, and hope it's a short phase for you.

kittenpie said...

We had intermittent spurts of craziness during two, but the month or two right around the third birthday was the worst stretch for us. I feel for you, though, because right now, Pumpkinpie is trying on some really horrid behaviours and I am SO not enjoying them.