Must Remember To Breathe

I'm a big time slacker. Dear most awesome bloggy friends… I beg for your forgiveness. You all rule. I offer promises that I will soon be coming 'round your parts. Don't push the toys under the couch. Honestly I am even blind to my own tornado disaster that I call my house. This skill is well developed. I'll be bringing pie, cake, brownies or do you prefer a salty treat? We all seem to either crave sweet goodies or salty munchies. Me, I'm pretty much an 'And' girl. I have been buried under a stack of Häagen-Dazs containers and multiple packages of Baked Lays. I've had to eat my way free. (So much for getting my sexy back.) This phase is called hibernation in Canada. Sleeping and eating doesn't leave room for blogging.

One of my favourite times of the day is when I get the chance to observe a few moments of my children interacting with others at daycare. I love that Buttercup easily joins in with the group of toddlers playing at the rice table. I adore how the Senior Preschoolers turn into the gang from Cheers, crying out the name of each child as they enter the room. A group of them rush over to greet each other with a hug.

Today after the hug routine I turned around to exit. I closed the door and peaked into the window to watch Strawberry join the others that were doing a free style dance movement. To my amazement she was already leading the group around the room in a train like dance. I don't doubt that she is a natural leader. It's amazing how we have certain personality traits that without developing and nurturing still shine from such an early age.

I was driving to work, wishing my CD player would stop skipping. I was in my lane, minding my own business when a bus decided that it would merge into my lane without waiting for me to get ahead. I was looking at the driver so I am sure that he could see me. I had two options - be side swiped by the bus or be forced into oncoming traffic and risk a head on collision. I laid on my horn and swerved to avoid all vehicles. I see the need for a large ass minivan and a much louder horn. Breathe.

I checked out my personalized Google homepage and the top article left me heartbroken. My thoughts are with this Alberta family. It is time for car manufacturers to do something about power windows. Too many children have suffered this fate. As parents we also have to remind ourselves how quickly accidents can happen. Breathe.

To end this rambling, I love that the Tooth Fairy delivers fairy dust. She rocks! Wouldn't it be great if there was a Hair Fairy that delivered money for your discarded hair? A Nail Fairy? Oh yes, I'd do it all for the fairy dust. Hooray for sparkles!

Pop-Culture Parenting

Back in 2002, while I was out shopping in a boutique in the trendy and exclusive area of the metropolitan core, I realized that I needed something unique to give me an edge. All the other music industry insiders were chomping at the bit to one up their peers. We were known for promenading through the Queen West clubs to be seen. It was expected that we would air kiss our arch-rivals, toss in grand declarations of new accomplishments, while posing listlessly to show that we were utterly bored with the scene.

I arranged a party to celebrate the latest signing to our roster. While the guests sipped champagne, my boss took a moment to commend me publicly to the crowd. I nearly fainted. It was a rare occasion that I was offered praise. More often the moments of glory were never shared. I was thrilled. It was a good thing I managed to maintain my composure or my secret status would have been revealed. I smiled from the inside out because earlier that day I had discovered that I was pregnant.

I had a plan! I would become a hipster parent-memoirist. I would give my children made up names like Syra and Coane. They'd wear environment friendly designer limited edition clothing. They'd have their tiny, pinky finger on the pulse of the punk rock scene. They'd be born with the ability to shun the mainstream.

I'd exploit their brilliant child like ways with their go-go first words and humorous antidotes of suntan lotion substitutes. However I would not do this for profit. No, I'm much too alternative than that! I'd use these new accessories disguised as children so that I could become the most unique and creative individual. I would fashion the modern mother role and be worshipped by Mini-Me #1 and Mini-Me #2.

Who thinks like this? No one has this agenda. Becoming a parent is not a decision that people make lightly no matter if the situation is planned or not. The rewards of reproducing go far beyond some social equation of cool.

Our parents shared funny stories about things that we did only they did not hit the publish key on a computer. Instead they picked up the telephone and related our childhood comical behavior to their friends and neighbours. No one questioned if they were trying to maintain a level of hipness by sharing our daily adventures. No one judged our parents on whether they exposed us to Elvis Presley, Led Zeppelin, The Bee Gee's or Raffi.

Parents who blog are not writing to prove to non breeders that they are still free thinking individuals. Having a child does not change that. Yes, we do have another thing that is truly important in our lives that we find fascinating.

Becoming a parent is a defining moment but it does not define me. Much the same way that getting a job is a defining moment but your career does not define you. People are made up of every experience they have encountered and the people that surround them. I wish we could move away from the need to slap a label on it so that it's not so daunting. Now I understand that hipster + parent + blog = scary. Boo!

Deterioration of the Fast Lane

The ability to multitask is a valuable skill. It is essential to career advancement as is prioritizing. The classic image of a mother epitomizes multitasking as she looks after a cluster of children, folds laundry, talks on the phone, cooks supper, watches Oprah and eats bonbons all at the same time. Oh yes, mothers make it look it easy but don't be fooled. It is hard work.

We all have things that we find challenging. For some people just walking while chewing gum is detrimental. Personally I cannot successfully drive while holding a coffee. I admit it is worse than that as I cannot make it to my destination with a full cup of java placed in a cup holder for that matter. I recognize my weakness and send my husband out to get me coffee whenever necessary.

As more restraints get put upon on schedules, we find ourselves multitasking whenever possible. There are some of us who can efficiently apply makeup in the rear view mirror, nibble on a few bites of breakfast, make some important phone calls, flip through the radio dial, while running errands in our SUVs. Of course there are a few people that bring the rest of us down. On more than one occasion they rear-end a vehicle while chatting on their cell phone. Soon insurance companies, law enforcement, politicians and members of the general public who actively search out issues to get their knickers in a knot join together, all up in arms, calling for legislation to be passed. Ban cell phone usage in motor vehicles.

Then the iPod revolution began. After a few pedestrians got hit by cars while listening to music, those same non-lovers of the cell phone obsessed driver, jumped on the campaign for prohibiting crossing the street while using gadgets including an iPod, cell phone, Blackberry or video game. This will be as easily enforced as the law that declares no spanking children under the age of three. As a parent I don't agree with spanking but that is another topic.

People don't respond well to having others tell them how to make reasonable judgments. Rules are not the solution. We need to focus on our surroundings and slow down. We shouldn't hurry through this life, multitasking our lives away. There is something to be said for being really great at one thing even if that is just chewing gum.

What Dreams Are Made Of

Daddy's going to buy me a pony! Please dad?

In code

My thoughts are so loud that they are drowning out the music that has gradually increased in volume. There is a lump that sits wedged in my throat. Verging tears are spring loaded in the corner of my eyes. My innocent daughters continue to happily bring about smiles. The upturned curve feels like a betrayal to my heavy heart. I have no answers only questions. I want to get in my car and just drive. To nowhere. The answers are not hidden under the X on the map. Logic keeps me planted, yet it would be nice to escape. From me.

My secrets seem to have silenced me. I am a firm believer in the rule to say nothing at all if I am pressed to find nice words.

I do have something good to pass on. Julia at Major Bedhead shared the most beautiful words. Sigh... You should read her Perfect Post.

Petroville and Suburban Turmoil list the best of the best for January.