Venting can be as necessary as breathing

This weekend Colin was off gallivanting around cottage land with The Boys. He was on a mission to test the levels of testosterone in a small town bar after one too many drinks. Why is it that their version of the story is sometimes a little hard to believe? I'm trying to convince him to become a contributor to this blog so that he can share his stories here.

Mess with my daddy and I'll take ya!

For the first time I was left to my own devices for 29.5 hours straight with the two purely innocent looking hell raisers. It was great if you minus being trapped inside due to the rain and that Buttercup took this opportunity to push out two new teeth. My weekend plans of writing and getting caught up on commenting around the blogoshere were quickly pushed aside. I didn't get the opportunity to watch anything other than toddler TV. The Dinosaur DVD we rented wouldn't play past chapter nine and I was utterly too involved in this children's tale. I didn't even treat myself to some delivered Thai cuisine.

I have become desperately seeking sleep. I crave it. I start to blame my lack of sanity on not having more than four hours of unconsciousness in a row. I used to dream vivid, colourful, wild adventures. I don't get around to dreaming at all now. I just crash until I am bolted awake by the sound of a child stirring or my senile cat howling and scratching the walls. Monty this is not an endearing trait. Don't make me feed you to the raccoons.

In the good 'ole days when my weekend consisted of having a serious social life, I would get home from a night on the town around 3 A.M., easily sleep until 4 P.M. the next afternoon, lounge around my apartment for a few hours until I dolled myself up for another night out. I gave up that lifestyle as the numbers started to creep on but it's fun to compare it to say this particular weekend.

Now my idea of a good time is waiting for Colin to return home so that I can steal away to the laundry room to sort clothes. Oh, man... it was a moment for me. It was the most relaxing ten minutes I've had in a long time.

No words

This crazy sore throat, coughing, knock you down flat virus has made its way to me. I had moments of delirious grandeur today after I dropped the girls off at daycare and spent the entire day on my couch. I feel for stay at home moms who don't get the luxury of being drop dead sick.

Until later, I leave you with some highlights from Buttercup's Big Day!

I like to party party!

I need just a little taste. You know to make sure it's ok for the rest of you.

The party is not over until someone passes out.

Visions of chocolate and pink icing dance through her head.

Cake - Round 2! I love it this much!

Our little girl

A year ago, you came into our world, making it a better place. I remember being in the car on the way to the hospital filled with anticipation and happiness. The world seemed to be blanketed with a cool calmness. In a way, everything about that morning describes you.

We adore you. Love Mommy, Daddy and your big sister... xoxo

Going Down?

Thirteen Things About Elevators 1. As I was leaving the office I got into the elevator to find another person there but she had not pressed any floor destination. It left me puzzled. Can't make up your mind? Nothing better to do than to joyride on the elevator? Don't know how this thing functions? I wonder if she ever got to where she was going? 2. Today I also got on an elevator going down at the same time as another person who immediately chose a higher floor than we were currently on. Plus this person had waited for this elevator when multiple other elevators had arrived taking other passengers on their way up. Once again I questioned if I had stumbled upon a person with extreme lack of knowledge on elevators. Or perhaps she knew that this is the BEST elevator in the building and she always waits to ride on this one. 3. People who go one floor make me want to let loose the rage of the universe and throttle them senseless. There are these fantastic things called stairs people. They won't kill you! 4. Avoid getting on elevators with sweaty, bike couriers. 5. Unless, of course, he is really hot and you can fantasize about hot elevator action for the entire ride. 6. What's with people asking me for information about other floors? Do they think that I'm the information building tenant expert? Is that dirty look necessary because I don't have the answer? 7. I want to turn to someone one day and wide eyed ask them "But how do I get to the thirteenth floor?" 8. I think I'm so smart when crowds of people cram into the elevator and I alone wait for the next one that takes me express style up to my destination! Wahoo victory dance! 9. I've caught myself grooving to a song in my head alone in an elevator only to realize that of course I'm on camera and someone is probably laughing at me right now. At least I didn't pull my underwear out of my butt. 10. What's with that woman who travels to our floor to only use the washroom? 11. I enjoy catching some brief snippets of conversations and people watching. In the past, I know that my previous co-workers and I took great delight in making innocent bystanders bewildered. 12. I have found myself counting the people, estimating the current weight load and looking for the maximum limit sign. 13. I have no real fear and yet I can't help imagining the elevator plunging down to the bottom due to malfunctions on at least eighty percent of the time spent enclosed. Do other people have an obsession with this predicament? Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

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The right thing to do

I have recently found myself struggling with the first birthday party dilemma. I rationalize theories such as no one remembers turning one; that it is more for the parents than the child; I don’t want to milk the occasion for gifts and most of the people that we'd invite wouldn't come.

On the other hand, I do want to make every effort to give the same things to my second child as I have given to my first. I am already failing miserably. She wears hand me downs and plays with the same toys. I have filmed a miniscule amount of video footage as what I did with Strawberry. (Here's Strawberry sleeping, oh look another angle of her sleeping, now a close up of her sleeping… Endless hours of entertainment that only a mother or a grandmother could sit through.) I pushed for and celebrated every milestone but have now adapted a more relaxed parenting style.

All this led me to conclude that I could not pass up the opportunity to create some special birthday photos for Buttercup, as that is where the memories hide. Who doesn't love looking at photos of their first birthday? I've cherished the smiling picture of me in my crib that my mother took first thing on the morning that I turned one. I love looking at the two special birthday cakes that marked the big occasion. I note how my relatives made the extra long road trip to another province with my young cousins in tow. Ah, the first birthday!

I know to take pictures of the cake before the baby puts her fingers in the icing. To delight in the moment when she discovers the sweet goodness. I know balloons are mesmerizing and that colourful wrapping paper on the outside beats the present on the inside. As I have tried to learn from my mistakes, I now know the importance of the birthday card to a child that cannot read.

It's at special occasions like birthdays and holidays that I miss my family with an extreme intensity. They know how to celebrate, to come together as a family to create lasting memories. Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas and birthdays were a time of laughter and food. If I could magically cut and rearrange the map of our magnificent country to place my prairie hometown within a couple hours driving time to Toronto, that would be perfection.

Of course the days just seem to disappear and time is escaping me. I realized that I needed to do something fast. Quick: Order me up some super cool parents with children. Consider yourself officially invited thanks to Mama Blogs Toronto and HBM. That is, of course if you can easily find your way to this section of the real world. If it is easier to virtual travel, expect some photos of babies smooshing cake next week.

Occupying valuable space

Sometimes I look at people and I am curious to know what they are thinking. What makes them tick. My brain works as an infinite pit of randomness. I thought it might be interesting to share a glimpse inside. Without further adieu, I would like to introduce a new segment entitled:

Divulging the hidden
mumbo jumbo

50% less diapers makes me 100% over the moon! Yes as of last week, Strawberry is a big kid now. Going back to daycare, gave her the mindset that panties are the way to go. You've got to love peer pressure!

As I get a lot of hits because of my gum post, I thought I'd mention that I'm currently chewing Trident Watermelon Twist Trio Melon with the great fruit fusion of watermelon, cantaloupe and honeydew. Why does every gum have to be sugar free, flavoured with aspartame? I was under the impression that aspartame is not a good thing to digest.

Buttercup is getting extremely frustrated that she is not more mobile. She's got the bum scooch down pat. I've seen her go from one room to another with this method. She'll be turning one in a matter of days and she is desperate to stand, walk and run. I'm sure she is imagining all kinds of new dance moves that she'll be able to do with the skills that elude her.

If Lisa Loeb can't get a date is there any hope for the single thirty something woman?

The level of excitement that the FIFA World Cup generates is enthralling. When Strawberry hears cars honking or sees people waving flags, she thinks that she has discovered a parade. On the rare occasion when I have had to pick the girls up from daycare, the traffic's been as slow as molasses with the police rerouting travelers due to a game in progress. It will be complete mayhem in Little Italy on Sunday when everything wraps up.

My groovy girls are developing a fine taste in music. Strawberry asks me to turn up the radio when "Dani California" comes on and Buttercup does her trademark shoulder shake to "Steady, As She Goes." This makes me so proud.

If I were a scientist, I would be working on biogenetically creating a money tree. Send $29.99 now to get your very own Money Tree. Guaranteed to yield you 500 times your return or your money back. Hurry now this is a limited time offer. But wait that's not all! With your Money Tree you will also receive a lovely Rose bush with no thorns.

I want to know what crazy thought ran through your mind today. Let me know that I'm not officially crazy. Please?

Friendship

They had gathered in a cluster laughing and being exclusive. I approached my friends eager to join in on the fun.

"Hey."

"Oh she's here," said the ringleader to the group. She held out a bag. "Everyone take one."

"What's going on? Can I have one?" I asked.

"Who got the short straw?" She commanded the others. There was relief on a couple of my friend’s faces. "Oh it's you. Remember you've got to do it," she urged the winner of the game pushing her a step closer in my direction.

One of my sweetest friends clenched the short straw in her fingers. "Umm... we've all decided, that..." she quietly paused while looking at the ground, "that you can't hang out with us anymore."

I recall the leader of the pack's smug, satisfied expression.

At that point I don't remember what I said. It was too shocking. Too horrifying. Too devastating.

I was feeling the world crush the spirit of my eleven year old self. However it was not the first time my circle of friends had pushed me to the outskirts so I hope that I reacted by putting on a brave face and saying a brilliant comeback line that made them feel at least an ounce of my pain. It is more likely that tears sprung to my eyes and I quickly scooted away to the washroom to compose myself for the remaining classes of the day.

What followed were many sad days that turned into weeks. A couple of my friends secretly hid that they chatted with me. It was the leader's loyal sidekick that somehow convinced her that I should be allowed back in. A little piece of my innocence was washed away. A life lesson about trust was learned the hard way. I began building those invisible walls for self-preservation.

I have long forgiven these girls who grew up to become lifelong friends. It was a childish incident but it's not something that can be forgotten. It hides in the back of my brain and when I'm nervous about social settings it springs forward. I become that eleven year old girl again.

Yesterday armed with the protective layer of Buttercup and Strawberry I entered a room that had some of the best women of the blogworld. We later regrouped sans children over adult beverages. They were exactly as I've come to know them through their words. Amazing. They were just as wonderful as I had imagined. I look forward to getting to know these women and hopefully others as there really are some intelligent, thoughtful and kind women out there. There are more gin and tonics to be drunk and more conversations to be shared. I wasn't even anxious looking down at my short straw.