Never ending questioning

Sometimes I look at my children and I am filled with enormous amounts of amazement and wonder. I think about their endless opportunities. I envision their delights in future discoveries and the anticipation of countless adventures. Their laughter and the heartbreaks. The gigantic emotions. I think about the pride in every accomplishment, the triumph of success and the butterflies of first romance.

In these moments, I am often appalled when it brings about feelings that the best of my life is over. I know that I shouldn't relate their future to mine. I don't ever want to be to be jealous of their youth. The answer to my self-loathing is that I need to start living again. And not just through them.

Is this a common mistake for mothers? Do we sacrifice our own passions for that of our children? Do others feel that the only thing that they have to look forward to is the incredible journey that time will bring about for their offspring? I hope this is just a stage that I am going through because I'm so lost. It is like I don't know who I am or what I want for myself. I am trying to learn how to be a good mom. I am sure that a huge part of that lesson is to be a happy well rounded individual. Once again I am struggling to find a way to have it all. Why do some people make it look so easy? Why am I filled with guilt? Have I done something wrong?

I love my children and I want the best for them just like everyone else. I am filled to the brim with excitement for them. I need to find an ounce of enthusiasm for myself but I don't know how, what or where. Like most things it may be hiding in the cushions of my couch.

Exposed

(Header courtesy of tnchick)Thirteen pictures of me through the years. 1. With my younger cousin in the glorious 70's. 2. I won first prize for my beautifully decorated bike. My mother painstakingly spent hours creating this magnificent masterpiece. I proudly rode it very cautiously in my hometown parade. 3. Bringing in 1995! Colin's hair was almost as long as mine. 4. This is our Singles/Reality Bites moment of the 90's. We were the epitome of grunge. It made youth way too much fun. I'm the one kneeling. 5. This photo brings back fond memories of time spent with a visiting girlfriend. We made wine; went to a bush party that had major drama; toured the city like foreigners trying to fit as much into one ultimate, action packed week as possible. Damn I loved those tattered jean shorts. 6. Easy breezy summertime at the cottage. 7. Taking the boy back home to do the Prairie tour. 8. Life lesson #247 - It's important to match your outfit to the wallpaper. 9. Under the rainbow - Niagara Falls 2001. 10. "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." - Anais Nin 11. In 2003 with baby Strawberry. 12. Punk rock mom. 13. Finally here is a somewhat recent self-portrait. Links to other Thursday Thirteens. I'm using the automated linking code, so if you are a Thursday Thirteen participant, please submit your link and leave me a comment.

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Impostor

My lack of words is having a negative effect on me. I'm guilty because I haven't written and even more guilt ridden because I have not had the chance to spend time reading all your words. The less I write, the more I feel depressed. I have contemplated the fact that my computer world is taking up too much time and my need for it is all consuming. I have mulled over various theories as to why it has taken on a life of its own which has lead me to feel the need to end it all with a quick press of a delete button. However I've come to the realization that while I'm not as entertaining and brilliant as the people I visit, I do need this outlet. It gives me something that is mine besides playing house, mom and career woman. It makes me feel like me. I can't give that up.

I was lying in bed trying to fall back asleep and more thoughts were spinning out of control. There are many excuses as to why I've been away. First off, Buttercup is teething. She's been battling an extreme fever and has had no regular sleep pattern. It is times like these that remind me of the fact that I am truly lucky to have been blessed with wonderful babies. I don't think I'd last a second if I were in the shoes of a woman who has had to deal constantly with a crying baby.

My mom is visiting us from out west. I love her dearly but she has long ago perfected the art of making me feel horrible about myself. It seems the cleaners didn't do a fantastic job and they only created the illusion of clean. If you move any item that is on my floor, it is easy to discover the fact that dirt lies here. I guess their idea of a thorough clean and mine differ by many degrees.

I hear about the fact that it unacceptable to have the current state of bathroom renovations at least fifty times a day. My mother also makes me feel like a complete failure because of my guilt about the disaster zone I call my bedroom. It is an overwhelming project that I always put off because I figure that it is the only room of the house that no guest should venture in. Of course she gets under my skin because she is correct in her constant nagging but it is not endearing to hear it.

So while I struggle in the fact that I have no time to get anything written, I over think the whole process. I realize that I do edit myself to an extreme and it is likely a major part as to why I'm not happy with the words that end up here. I now wish that I had the freedom to write without worrying about what someone I know will think of me if I am to write... the truth.

It would be incredibly freeing to be able to air all my dirty laundry. I hate feeling like this represents a fake me. An exterior thin shell. I think I will attempt to be bold and write like no one I know is reading this. So if you are a friend or family member please be warned that upcoming information might change the way that you view me. It may be best to stop reading now. I highly recommend visiting a much smarter and funnier woman on my blogroll. Of course if you happen to catch a glimpse of one of my dirty secrets, feel free to gossip among yourselves and then pretend that you never read this.

A side note and promise to all my blogworld Snuffy friends: I am looking forward to catching up with you soon! I can't wait...

Birthday Boy!

Here it is the May long weekend! It symbolizes that summer is upon us, as many Canadians go straight to the beer store to stock up for their first cottage or camping trip of the season.

Today is husband's big day! He thinks that Strawberry steals his thunder because she'll turn three on Sunday. I think it's sweet that she will always look forward to her dad's birthday knowing that hers soon follows.

It is hard to arrange a party for either of them as everyone is planning their great escape of the city. Instead we will fill the house with balloons, eat a large Care Bear chocolate Birthday cake, say hi to the animals at the Zoo and maybe we will get to see Over the Hedge. Those activities are more geared toward a three year old but Colin is still a child at heart. Thirty-seven going on thirteen.

However my mom is arriving for her annual visit, which means that the house will be spick and span. It also means that we will be able to sneak away for some couple time and maybe even get together with friends in a non-family environment.

It is also guaranteed that there will be fireworks to celebrate their birthdays and Queen Victoria's. That is pretty spectacular!

Girly girl

Thirteen Things in my makeup bag 1. Evian Affinity Velvet-Soft Remineralising Care - This moisturizer was a gift from a true girlfriend who saw my dry skin when I was pregnant and came to the rescue. Since then I'm addicted to this light cream that provides intense moisture to my face. 2. L'Oréal Idéal Balance Foundation - A must in order to ease away the fine lines. 3. Quo Camouflage Colour Corrector - Works miracles in evening out skin tone especially the darkness under my eyes. 4. Quo Automatic Eye Liner in Sultry Brown - Necessary to create the come hither bedroom eyes. 5. Revlon ColorStay 12 Hour Eye Shadow in Berry Bloom 6. Almay Amazing Lash Mascara in Quiet Black 7. Maybelline Dream Mousse Blush in Pink Frosting - Pink whipped cream to turn me back into a blushing school girl. 8. Almay Whipped Gloss in Shining Bare 9. MAC lipstick in Delish - On my wedding day, my fabulous makeup artist provided me with this lovely light shade. 10. Almay Skin Stays Clean Pressed Powder in Light 11. Evian Mineral Water Spray - This is the fastest, refreshing pick me up that a girl could ever dream of. The cool mist is perfect for rehydrating your skin and leaves you feeling more awake than a jolt of caffeine. 12. Sally Hansen Advanced Hard As Nails Polish in Moonshine 13. Angel Innocent by Thierry Mugler - An Oriental-Fruity fragrance that has been described as pure mandarin, honey, fresh almond and other exotic fruits, accompanied by rich musk and amber. Too bad on most days I barely find the time to shower and brush my hair, let alone practice a beauty routine. My lofty goal is often to find matching socks! Links to other Thursday Thirteens. I'm using the automated linking code, so if you are a Thursday Thirteen participant, please submit your link and leave me a comment.

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Broh-ca-lie, Broccoli

Every night I ask myself what shall I make for supper. I have to take into consideration the following things.
1) What am I in the mood for?
2) Is it suitable for my children to eat? As in, is it nutritious and not too spicy? Can I mash bits up for my ten month old?
3) Will my husband willingly eat it?

I always thought it would be dreamy to find a man that cooks. Colin has his specialties, Mac and cheese, scrambled eggs, grilled cheese sandwiches and he's also mean with the barbeque. We are way too friendly with our regular take out restaurants. If we don't order Chinese food for a couple weeks, the owner starts to worry about us.

However, my husband is not adventurous with his taste buds. Every single work day, for as long as I've known him, he has a banana and a muffin with orange juice for breakfast. He takes a peanut butter sandwich and another container of orange juice for his morning break. Then for lunch it's a ham and cheese sandwich with a coke. Every. Single. Day.

That would drive me crazy. If I dare pack my lunch because I'm trying to save some money for something better than the boring food options around my office, I dread having to eat what I've brought. I will put off eating until I'm famished and then reluctantly devour my planned serving.

The way that men are preoccupied with sex, I’m constantly thinking about food. Yet I do go for long periods of time without eating, especially when I'm busy. I put it off until I can find the time to enjoy my calories.

I'd like to be able to try some new recipes that I've discovered but if it has any ingredient that Colin deems "salad food" then he will not eat it. That eliminates meals with tomatoes, cucumbers, spinach and mushrooms. I can certainly forget about including tofu in my stir-fry’s.

I do give Colin quite a bit of credit because he has expanded his narrow intake since I've met him. If not the man would have turned into a gigantic pepperoni and cheese pizza. He wouldn't eat many of the things that he now does. There was a time that he was hesitant to go to a restaurant that he had never been to before. It was cute the way that he'd ask me what he would like from the menu. He has come to trust me in his food choices and I have only abused this power on the rare occasion, like when I told him that edamame were peas.

Thank goodness children tend to follow the same eating habits as their same sex parent. If that is the case then our girls will have an open mind towards trying new delicacies. More importantly they won't eat all their vegetables, then their starch, followed by the meat on their plate. That ritual of Colin's drives me around the bend. No matter how many times I tell him that his method of eating is not normal and that I've chosen the items because the tastes compliment each other, he will not change. I've learned not to watch him eat.

Strawberry went through a phase that she only wanted to eat things that were green. Broccoli was her favourite food. Now she doesn't have a lot of time for sitting down to eat but we still manage to coax her to devour her meals. Buttercup on the other hand has turned her nose up at everything that we introduced her to except for pasta. She definitely prefers real food to baby food.

I find that I make the same meals over and over. I hate being bored with food. It's time to spice things up and bring some excitement back to the kitchen table. I better go rummage around the cupboards to find something for dinner.

My dreaded week from hell

I am -a bad housekeeper
I want -to have a clean house
I wish -that while I slept, magic cleaning fairies would appear
I hate -vacuuming, mopping, dusting...
I miss -being able to find things. I haven't seen my house keys for over a week.
I fear -that when my mom arrives for her yearly visit on Saturday, that she will threaten to call child services
I hear -Strawberry pretending to read to Buttercup
I wonder -if I will ever find the energy to start this massive cleaning project
I regret -not doing some small tidying every day
I am not -Martha Stewart
I dance -around the dust bunnies
I sing -children's songs until my brain goes numb
I cry -when I am stressed out
I am not always -doing laundry, but I could be
I make with my hands -meals for my family
I write -when I should be cleaning
I confuse -easily and get way too distracted
I need -to start with one room at a time
I should -hire someone to clean my house
I start -watching TV when I get overwhelmed
I finish -cleaning one second before my mom walks into my house

Thanks to Mama C-ta for the inspiration.

Now With Instant Cool Burst Sensation

I started writing some thoughts and posting pictures of my children for friends and family last September. It was a time in my life that I was going though some new challenges and it helped put things into perspective but mainly it offered a diversion. It reminded me how much I need to have a creative outlet. I felt excited and rejuvenated. My words were brief paragraphs skimming over the surface of topics such as Canadian politics (yawn), the Olympics, carrots and of course our girls.

In February, my real life friend Jennifer, who has an amazing food blog and will soon have a sweet baby, wrote about BlogHer. From there I found myself discovering mommy blogs. I was so lucky that the very first one that I stumbled upon was Mrs. Chicky's. She is my Dooce. I was completely hooked and so began my lurking phase. Her brave words inspired me to try this on for size. I had some aversion to journaling online but as long as I called it blogging, I was ok with it. I know... crazy rationalizing! Mrs. Chicky's brilliant words made me aspire to be able to write more comprehensively and I hoped that occasionally my sense of humor would sparkle. At least I was now able to comment on the heartwarming and hilarious stories that are plentiful in cyberspace.

It didn't take me long to discover the incredible women you will find on my Visiting list. Each and every one of them is cool in their own right. They all share the fact that they are exceptionally gifted writers. Their stories often make me laugh out loud and occasionally they move me to tears. They share their lives and I've begun to think of them as my Snuffleupagus friends. I can't seem to have a conversation without bringing one of their stories up. Thank goodness, Colin shares a lot of my daily reading and he knows the cast of characters.

I was walking by the Grassroots store, which is the home of WonderBaby’s infamous Mutha Sucka T-Shirt, and of course my thoughts immediately went to Her Bad Mother and her quest to have MC Hammer comment on her blog. When Colin got home from work the other day I had to share the story about Kristen's daughter's hairy leg. Of course, we also discussed Izzy's new product sample. We giggled about Rhonda's famous family member. I have to point out that Colin didn't giggle like a schoolgirl, it was much more of a manly man giggle.

Then there are the likeminded Portland mama's that make me think it would be magnificent to move to the good 'ole US of A. This is a thought that I had never before entertained, especially with your current administration.

There are some amazing women that always seem to make me feel fantastic. Marcie, Pattie and Sandra; I cherish your support and always find myself eagerly awaiting your next post.

Being a mother means that there are not enough hours in the day. Being a mom that blogs means that somehow you will make it through all twenty-four of them.

Happy Mother's Day!

Linky love

So begins the two day love fest...

First off I should mention that my head is cloudy as I have a cold that has now spread into my chest. I'm feeling like I got run over by a truck. Not a Mac truck, just a small pick up. My congested head has left my brain fuzzy and I seriously should be banned from commenting on other people's sites when I am feeling like this.

I did my second Thursday Thirteen yesterday and was astounded by the number of new visitors checking out my digs. I like choosing a funky banner and doing up a list but something about the TT leaves a sour aftertaste. I kind of feel like a misunderstood pop star. I'm much more than my lists. Come on back and discover what I'm about. I wonder how many Thursday thirteeners are just surfering through the others to skim the lists so that they can add their name to Mister Linky's brilliant widget wizard. C'est la vie. At least I had a little fun, discovered some wonderful blogs and maybe I will get something from that list on Sunday. Fingers crossed.

However the absolutely coolest thing happened because of that post. Out of the complete goodness of her heart, lildb offered up her copy of Long Way Down by Nick Hornby. How incredibly sweet is she? I sincerely thank you so much! That is above and beyond. You rock my blog world. Besides having a heart of gold, she is smart and funny so please head on over to pay her a visit.

Today I'm thinking about Sandra as she is celebrating women at a major gala event that she organized. How cool is that? When do these amazing women, who happen to be moms, who also happen to have a blog, find the time? This new circle of friends are only a click away. They keep me going with their inspirational, heartfelt and often witty words.

I will continue on with these thoughts tomorrow. It's not too late for you to show your love. Go visit Her Bad Mother because she was struck with the most luminous idea and wants you to share your thoughts too.

In her honor, I include this
Gratuitous Photo
of Strawberry and her Stego Tat.

A final note to the fine people at Apple: It seems that the last remaining consumers to fall under your spell are visiting my site. They, along with myself, are lacking the magic of an iPod. It would be an unsurpassed allocation of your marketing budget to advertise on my site. I promise to use the money you pay me to run out and buy my very own iPod.

**Edited to clarify that I meant no disrespect to anyone who visits my site. I only feel that my silly list didn't deserve the attention that it got. But I'll take it. So thanks if you did comment! If you're looking to share something to a larger audience, I highly recommend forming your thoughts into a list and joining in on the fun!

Wrap it up

Thirteen Things that I can no longer live without. A help guide for last minute Mother's Day shopping. 1. Inspiron 6400 Notebook 2. A new haircut. 3. Wave petunias for our hanging baskets. 4. Motorola RAZR Pink - but any colour will do. 5. A hot male Au Pair preferably with a saucy foreign accent. 6. An iPod - I feel like the last person in the world to own one. 7. A couple gourmet chocolates from our local, quaint, deluxe bakery because if I'm going to cheat, it better be worth it. I figure two decadent pieces would be perfect as this would be one from each of my daughters. 8. A tattoo. I'm ready for some body art. I have been saying this for at least ten years but it has taken me a while to settle on design and placement. Hey, it won't be washing off. 9. Lots of extra time to create my ode to amazing Mommy bloggers. (It's the best thing since sliced bread and you too can join in on the fun. Just go visit Her Bad Mother to find out the full scoop). 10. Magic home renovation fairies to pay us a visit. 11. Take the Cake Travel Set - Creamy vanilla and sweet orange goodness to go. 12. Books such as jPod by Douglas Coupland, Long Way Down by Nick Hornby or Something Blue by Emily Giffin. 13. Three hundred and sixty five days of hugs and kisses from my family. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! I'm using the automated linking code now, so if you are a Thursday Thirteen participant, please submit your link, and leave me a comment.

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In the land of temptation

My claim to fame used to be that I was the girl in Grade Two that could hold the V sit the longest. I had abs that every seven year old girl was envious of. Okay I gave absolutely no thought to stomach muscles until much later.

Now I find myself tugging at my shirts, wishing that they were just a little longer. I picture strangers running, screaming in the opposite direction if they accidentally caught a glimpse of my muffin top. It's a scene from a cheesy horror film Night of the Living Double C-section Tummy.

So when I discovered the latest Friday Challenge over at Martinis for Milk, I knew it was time for me to take action. My plan of attack is to replace sugary beverages with boring water. Stop eating after 9 P.M. Increase my fiber intake because it would be a healthy thing to do. Avoid treats. Accelerate my heartbeat with some (do I dare use the E word? Okay just this once...) exercise.

First off I needed to find my scale. I haven't weighed myself for at least seven months. As with most women, the scale is not my best friend. We don't see eye to eye. He often lies to me and calls me nasty names while I stand naked on him begging for a lower number.

It was a scary moment of truth as I stepped on. I stepped off and back on again. Could it be? It wasn't as bad as I had prepared myself for. Whew! It seems that my weight has just redistributed itself in new pockets of undesirable curves. Ten pounds less then my current number will bring about a number that I might be able to say out loud. Of course I mean when no one else is in the room.

We live a hop, skip and a jump from a grocery store so I will almost daily stroll over to pick up a couple items. With my new agenda in mind, I set about trying to get only a couple necessities. In order to get milk, I had to pass muffins, cookies, pies, tarts, cheesecakes and brownies. So far so good.

Strawberry then sees the birthday cakes. As her special day is almost upon us, we had to pay them a visit. She excitedly pointed to the colourful, delectable frosty icings. I spy Mother's Day cupcakes calling out to me, "You deserve me! Take me home." Back off pink cupcakes. I'm not going to buy you for myself. You'll have to wait for another mom to consume your empty calories.

I zoom towards the checkout line. I'll just pick up some frozen juice. That's where the Dufflet desserts were hanging out. My mouth was beyond watering. I had to get out of there fast. I was doing so great that I thought I deserved a treat. I shielded myself from visions of other scrumptious sweets, snatched up an expensive salad and zipped through the express checkout lane. Victory is mine!

So I was eating my wilted lettuce and surfing my favourite blogs only to discover chocolate is trying to hunt me down. I must not give in. I repeated this a gazillion times, chanting away the deep craving. Summer is coming and I've agreed to do this Friday challenge. However challenging this one may be.

Pat-A-Cake Gone Wrong

I was going to the washroom and Strawberry was being ever so helpful. She grabbed a handful of toilet paper.

"You pat it and roll it and squish it." She demonstrates her skill and then hands me the ball.

"Now put it in your oven."

Girls vs Boys

An article in the current issue of Today's Parent has me feeling anxious. "Thrilled or Proud" by Kathy Buckworth was intended to be light and funny, however the thought behind it continues to stereotype the sexes.

Supposedly an unnamed study regarding the wording of birth announcements implied that parents of baby boys are proud, while parents of girls are thrilled. I ran to get the birth announcement that I made for Buttercup to see how I had worded it.

Proud parents Jana & Colin
as well as big sister Strawberry
are thrilled to announce
the arrival of...
Buttercup

If you are new here, yes, that is their nicknames. My children are not the cousins of Apple Martin.

I was glad that I did not fall into this generalization however I kept wondering if this is true. Are parents more proud of their little boys and thrilled by their girls?

It makes me think that boys accomplish more. Do we as parents see our little girls as something that is exciting, maybe like a new doll that we eagerly dress up and show off? From the moment that our children are born, do we typecast them and go about raising them to integrate these views as their own? I certainly hope not.

I encourage my daughters to play with whatever toys that interest them whether it be trucks or dolls. I dress them in pink and blue. I tell them that they are strong and can kick their ball with super power! I also tell them that they are smart and gorgeous. I've been known to call my friend's son gorgeous too.

To Kathy's defense she does go on to say that the difference between these emotions is deeper than gender. She also offers witty examples of when she feels both.

In your experience with birth announcements, have you seen this wording perpetuate this notion? Does your daughter make you proud? Does your son not thrill you to pieces?

Brunchilicious

One of my fondest childhood memories is Sunday brunch. It was a time to sit down as a family and eat way too much delicious food. I looked forward to it every week. My girlfriends enjoyed sleeping over on Saturday night so that they could join in on the feast. There were pancakes, toast, bacon, sausages, hash browns and eggs done multiple ways. In my mind I can still smell all these merged scents. Surprisingly, I don't recall feeling like I was over eating so I presume that I only took small portions. Plus I usually skipped the eggs because back then they really grossed me out.

Besides all the food, it was a time for us to gather in the 70's inspired kitchen with the yellow and brown flowered wallpaper and diamond linoleum floor. Late Sunday mornings were guaranteed wholesome family goodness. There were jovial conversations that were not typical during the hectic week.

Now that I have a family of my own, I've downsized this ritual. However our lazy Sundays still include pancakes from scratch. Since everyone has thrown out their old pancake mix thanks to Mommy off the Record, I thought it would only be kind to share my favourite, super easy recipe.

Pancakes
Mix all dry ingredients together:
2¼ cups Flour
1 tbsp Baking Powder
½ tsp Salt
4 tbsp Sugar

In a separate bowl combine:
2 Eggs well beaten
2 cups Milk
6 tbsp Oil
½ tsp Pure Vanilla Extract

Pour liquid ingredients into the dry ingredients and mix. If you prefer thinner pancakes add more milk. Heat pan. Flip pancakes when the batter bubbles (usually about 4 minutes) I always toss the first batch away. If you have any left over pancakes, freeze them and pop them into the toaster for a quick breakfast later in the week.

For some fun you could throw in blueberries, chocolate chips or anything else that you fancy. Smother in syrup and enjoy! Of course this pancake mix is divine. I'm really not a domestic mom, I just play one on my blog.

Colour my world

Thirteen Things about colours 1. Periwinkle - My longtime favourite colour. I've always thought that if I had to choose one colour to stare at for the rest of my life, that would be it. This bluish purple makes me feel serene. That is why I thought it would be the perfect colour of my bedroom. Much to my husband’s chagrin I found a shade that he could somewhat live with. A close friend helped me paint two walls. It has been years since then and I've never gotten around to painting the other two walls. My half finished project drives me crazy but it fits well in our house. 2. Sunshine Yellow - It is said this colour inspires creativity. My childhood bedroom was yellow. I was always stuck in a book or writing poetry so this theory might be true. Strawberry has always proclaimed that this is her favourite. Even when she was only a year old there were days that she insisted that she had to wear yellow. Do you know how hard it is to find yellow clothes for a toddler? 3. Sage Green - Another calming colour in my world. It was the thing that made me fall in love with our house the moment we first saw it, as that is the colour of our living room. 4. Mocha - My two favourite things mixed together: Coffee and Chocolate. This is my preferred afternoon pick me up. 5. Pink - The colour of little girls. From light pink to hot pink, every hue is present whether you like it or not. The cheeriness makes me happy and it is so innocent. 6. Sangria - The richness of this colour brings a feeling of coziness and warmth. Not to mention that it provokes passion within me. Fruit in wine? Yes please! 7. Cinnamon - The colour of my hair now that I've finally coloured it. It's also one of my favourite spices. 8. Pumpkin - My high school colours were orange and brown (yuck) and therefore it has taken me a long time to fall in love with the creaminess of pumpkin. I would love to paint my kitchen this colour but it has been said that the colour orange will cause you to over eat. That's the last thing I need! I remember being told that fast food restaurants were banned from using this colour. 9. Silver - The colour of the car that I drive. Plus, I just love saying this word. Silver. Silver. Silver. 10. Black - Yes, I know that it is a shade, not a colour. Still it deserves a mention being that my wardrobe is mainly as dark as the night sky. 11. Turquoise - The colour of my daydreams. Oh the sandy beaches and turquoise water. 12. Amber, Ruby, Violet, Sienna - All beautiful names for girls. They make me want to have more children. Colin will faint if he reads this! Also amber is one of my favourite scents. 13. Blue - This colour symbolizes love, modesty and fidelity and that is why brides are told to include something blue in their attire. That is also why I thought it would make a good pseudonym. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! (I was a little late in the game, but hey this is my first time. Still go ahead and leave your link. I’ll add you here!) 1. Skittles 2. Pink Chihuahua Princess 3. Ames 4. Amy the black 5. Chaotic Mom 6. Txsoapmom43 7. Momma bee

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It's better than talking to the wall

Do you ever find yourself talking to the television?

Sure this is rather acceptable behavior for sports fans. I've loudly cheered for my favorite teams from the comfort of my sofa.

Back in the days that I had a guilty pleasure of watching primetime soaps, I would frequently call out comments in disgust at the storylines absurdity. On special occasions, my girlfriends and I would gather in front of the tube to play drinking games based on what the characters were likely to say. We would often have to take a sip of our tasty adult beverages every couple minutes and therefore we needed to stop following our own rules before the first commercial break. We would have hated to pass out and miss the ending.

But I digress. Most people watch television, not communicate with it.

I am surprised at the numerous children’s programs that encourage interaction. Dora wants you to repeat her Spanish words. On Sesame Street, Ernie likes to play Simon Says. During Blue’s Clues, the show inserts pauses for the audience to shout out the appropriate word.

Reflecting back to my childhood, I don’t recall all this participation. It might be that this is all the rage as an educational tool. I certainly think it's pretty cute watching and listening to Strawberry join in. However what kind of message does this send? I wonder if she thinks that television is real? Will she have a harder time being able to separate fact from fiction?

I agree with limiting television and I am lucky because she is an active child. Strawberry’s attention span wouldn’t allow for endless hours spent glued to cartoons. It just so happens that her favorites shows all encourage talking to the TV.

At this point I think I’ll chalk it up as letting her imagination grow and not fear that one day I will have to spoil her fantasy.

I figure it can’t be all that harmful especially due to today’s astonishing moment. I had popped in a Blue’s Clues video to get some housework done. At one point Blue spells his name and then asks how do you spell your name? To my amazement, Strawberry spelt her actual name!

I guess repetitively spelling out her name to the tune of Bingo has paid off.

Spreading the love...

I saw all the love flying around honoring A Perfect Post and thought I need to join in on that! First I’d like to give a special thanks to Lucinda and MommaK for giving us the opportunity to recognize other people’s talent.

Mama Tulip wrote The deer drive and it truly touched my soul. If you haven't had the chance to read her beautiful words, run straight over with a quick clickty-click to check it out. Be warned that you may require a box of tissues.

Don't forget all the worthy recipients that are being honored by other thoughtful people. There are so many gifted writers sharing incredible stories.

Failing the testing period

It has been quite the week hence the bubblegum posts of pop culture.

We were lucky that the terrible two's have been manageable but I fear that it is actually the three's that are more threatening. Everyday that Strawberry edges closer to celebrating her third birthday has been a bit more taxing.

We have a variety of things we are up against, such as her wild, red hair temper and the fact that she is a typical stubborn bull sign. Her little Miss Independent ways are getting the better of us.

We've tried time outs. We've tried the art of negotiation by giving her two options and letting her feel like she can choose her outcome. Both Colin and I have broken down and raised our voices. We've given ourselves time outs.

Strawberry refuses to let us help her with anything. I took off her shoe last night and she picked it up and threw it at my head. She got a time out and a stern lecture for that incident.

I hear the unrelenting wail "No me!" fifty thousand times a day, usually followed by uncontrollable crying. We are trying to be consistent but I don't know when I should encourage her to give it a go and when to draw the line with enough is enough.

It's so bad that if I do anything such as put an ice cube in her orange juice or flush the toilet after I visit the powder room, she runs over to protest that it be redone by her.

To top off this grueling week, both our girls have had never ending runny noses. Plus Buttercup is popping out new teeth. She's up to five already!

Behind Strawberry's adamant ways, she is a loving and sweet daughter. We have been spending quiet moments, cuddling while reading her favorite new books, Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, Jillian Jiggs and the Great Big Snow and Makeup Mess. She leaves me enchanted with the way that she pronounces certain words. I love to listen to her say Croc-a-DY-la and Neck-A-less.


So blogosphere, any and all advice on living with an independent, two-headed monster is desperately needed. Please insert your wisdom here otherwise I may not make it through another week. If you see more posts about crazy frogs with wee willy's, hastily send in reinforcements.