Looks Like Chocolate!

I squeeze my eyes open, squinting at the bright computer screen to write one last post. It's blindingly white.

"Everyday, everyday, everyday I write the blog."

Mr. Costello's revised song has been stuck on repeat in my head. I would never have been able to write thirty days straight without the help of Colin. There were many nights, including this evening, where he woke me up because I had to get a last minute post up. Can you imagine? I almost slept through the last night of NaBloPoMo!

Ok my eyes are now fully open. On with the post...

Babies stick things in their mouths. This is a well-known fact. As a parent we often scramble to make sure that no small objects get lodged down our child's throat. Yes, things do tend to get more relaxed with your second child. I will now continue on to embarrassingly demonstrate.

Buttercup was sitting amongst her toys. She picked something up and it went straight into her mouth. I wondered how fast I needed to dart across the room to retrieve the object. I saw that she was spitting it out so I decided that it was not an emergency super hero fly across the room type of deal. Until... wait for it. This gets nasty... I saw that she was making a yuck face. I quickly determined that the object was left behind by the cat. Ick! Poo! I made a mad dash across the room to rescue the baby, gagging along with her.

Once I had everything under control, I decided that I might as well get the girls into the bath. To get me back for letting her taste poo, Buttercup decided to pee on me. There is nothing like that warm feeling soaking through your clothes. This was quite the night. I bet you are really glad that Colin woke me up so that I could share.

"Everyday, everyday, everyday I write the blog."

Now that December is mere minutes away, I will use all the nonblogging time to get caught up. I've turned into somewhat of a lurker and plan to return to commenting at my usual haunts and some new ones that I've recently discovered. I will get the sleep that I crave and I might just crawl out from under this mountain like pile of laundry that I've neglected.

I will get my holiday on! Decorating, shopping and spreading cheer. I will sip holiday spirits and unwind. I'm looking forward to getting my cards out soon. It's not too late if you'd like to receive one in your very own mailbox. Drop me an email.

So this nonsense of daily blather is over but I do not go quietly into the night. This exercise has shown me how much I love to reflect on the day and share them with who ever stops by. To everyone who still reads my rambles, I thank you for indulging me. Holiday goodies to you and yours! I now resume regularly scheduled blogging.

Tears in My Bonbons

I've been feeling emotional all week. I am one thread away from unraveling.

I know what is required of me. I must rent a sappy, tug at the heartstrings drama. In my pajamas, under a blanket I should curl up on the sofa. I will keep one hand within reaching distance of a box of soft tissues and the other for delivering delicious chocolates.

I need to cry a river.

It is preferable that I use a make believe person's tragedy to bring on the tears. Sometimes it plain old sucks to be a girl. A man would never, ever write this post. Just picturing a sensitive ponytail boy in his Joe Boxers watching Steel Magnolias with a bowl of chocolates brings a huge smile to my face.

Another thing that inspires pure delight is the arrival of a new baby for Mega Mom. Go see the photos and give her props!

Where I Reveal My Outer Dweeb

Ooh-wee! I got to talk to a few of my favorite bloggers! Kristen, Lena and Mrs. Chicky on Kristen's BlogTalkRadio show! I was so nervous to chat with these amazing women that I am sure that I sounded like an utter buffoon. Duh!

The topic that was being discussed was the decision to have more than one child. Of course I've already made that choice. I am lucky to have my two easygoing girls. I did share that I find it much easier with two.

Tantrums are diffused, routines are easier to follow and eventually as they get older, they do entertain each other. I remember when Strawberry wouldn't let me dress her to go to daycare. I was pregnant with Buttercup, usually running late for work and I'd be up against a wall trying to get Strawberry ready to leave the house. Some days I would break down in tears as I exhausted myself trying everything. Getting her to sit in her car seat was another daily battle. It was pure torture. However now that Buttercup is in the picture, everything is peachy. Even when the little one starts being a fuss pot, the older one will sing her songs or give her a toy to make her feel better.

I credit the fact of knowing what size of family I desire to my daydreams of the future. I don't picture myself with babies or even young children. My long range vision is always of our children as young adults coming back home for meals and celebrations. I do imagine that there will be many bumps along the way but the end goal is to have raised happy, well adjusted individuals that enjoy their parents company.

Selfishness is a funny word when it comes to parenting. It is used to describe so many groups of people. A co-worker once expressed that it is selfish to want children. She refused to have any children because she felt that people procreate so that they have someone to look after them when they got old. As an independent person this would never cross my mind as a reason to have children. I hope that I don't become a burden to my children.

Parents of only children are called selfish because they don't give their child a sibling. Everyone who has a brother or sister knows that there is often a lot of fighting going on with that supposed playmate. It is not until we mature that we value our siblings with great appreciation.

Some parents with one child find it selfish to want a second because they don't want to divide up their time between two. Time, money and love are not really things that can be measured with children. Even though I too complain that there is not enough time in a day or money for everything, when it comes to children those are three things that work themselves out. It's like life after you get a raise. You don't really see the extra money that you are earning. It disburses itself naturally and you would find it very hard to go back to having to your previous lifestyle. This holds true with children.

Now whether we want more than two... that is still up for debate.

Volcano of Love

There are moments that I look forward to every day. It is a series of events that cause the same response. My heart comes to a sudden stop right before it explodes into a million drops of melted syrup.

The first moment of the day comes when I go to Buttercup's crib. I am met with the happiest of smiles and hands that reach out to me. In her eyes I can see that there is nothing better than waking up to find your mommy.

Their eyes tell many tales of wonder. Children's videos could never bore me as I can sit for eternity and watch the amazement written in their every expression. They are open books. I read their every thought, as they are captivated with learning something new. Everything is a learning experience. They take it all in absorbing songs, numbers, emotions, language. They'll wait a few days and then repeat something that they saw or heard.

I love taking Strawberry's hand in mine as we walk. The feel of her three year old fingers pressed tightly in mine is as much comfort to me as it is to her. I feel united with liveliness. Mother and daughter ready to take on the world.

I love placing a kiss on the sweet baby fullness of Buttercup's cheeks. I love the eruption of giggles that come when I kiss her neck. I love that she has reached the age that she has discovered her body. She lifts her t-shirt to expose her belly button and she doesn't hesitate to stick out her belly to admire her own tummy.

I love how Buttercup is learning words through songs. She pretends to know all the words as she sings along to A,B,C,D, Row Row Row Your Boat, Wheels on the Bus, and so forth. Her own language carries the melody.

I love when Strawberry declares that she is protecting her sister from falling off the couch. I love when she notices that her little sister can do more things and she says that Buttercup is big now gleefully.

I love that when I return home from work both girls light up when they see me. They titter with excitement and smother me with hugs.

At the end of the day, I love Strawberry's bedtime ritual. We lie in her bed and read three books. Three is the magic number because she is three years old. I love when she places her arm around me and tells me what she will soon be dreaming.

Every day I am struck with awe and filled full to the top with love.

Here is a picture from their first week together.

Over at MommyBlogsToronto, you can meet Mouse and her family!

Everything Under The Sun and The Moon

We're in the home s-t-r-e-t-c-h! I'm looking forward to November being finished so I can go back to quality over quantity in this little place of my world. Plus I can't wait for more Holiday parties, a Christmas tree, sparkly lights and baked goodness! Mmmmm... December! Only five more sleeps!

Walmart Studios offered up another package of photos without so much as a blink of an eye. So that is yes to free photos but they have no monkeys for sale.

Today husband and I were on each other’s case so I decided to take Strawberry to the movies. She insisted on seeing Happy Feet, because I made the mistake of showing her the trailer. It's not the best children's movie. It was hard for her to follow and there were some scary bits. Thankfully the music was its saving grace.

I profusely apologize on my lack of commenting. When I finally whip off a few words, I have been making a mumble jumble mess so I'm sorry for being slightly brain dead. As I mentioned over at Kittenpie's, December I will be spreading comments everywhere! Hopefully not just half baked ones.

If I could ask for a wee favour, would you kindly go to this sunny spot? My guest blog post has not brought in her usual volume of visitors. I've watered her plants and I keep going to gather her mail but there is hardly anything there. I'm afraid that I'll be labeled bad guest hostess. I suppose I should have shared the PG version of losing my virginity instead of the post that is up but I was afraid of turning Sandra's blog into one of those blogs. While I'm on the topic of Sunshine Scribe, have you voted today?

I must close off this rambling nonsense to share that my absolute, permanent, ear to ear grin is due to the return of MamaTulip. I'm off to thank all those stars I wished upon.

Hugs

My favourite moment of the week happened on Thursday. Colin was getting ready to leave to go to school. Strawberry ran to the door to give him a big hug. I was in the kitchen making supper. All of a sudden she came up behind me.

"Mommy turn around."

"And give me a hug."

I bring myself to her level and wrap my arms around her.

"That's from Daddy!"

Magic Disappearing Ink

Earlier today I did my first guest blog post! Sandra with all her graciousness and writing talent easily reels us in with her Flashback Fridays. I have all new respect for her after attempting to write about one occasion.

I found that trying to recount an event from my past to be extremely difficult. I've analyzed that my life may not be filled with moving stories worthwhile of sharing. Plus all the pages in my mind seem to be fading fast. I picture the faint ink shaped with the big loops of my childhood handwriting disappearing. I feel like I should be writing them down before my memory goes blank, leaving me with empty chapters. The only thing I will be able to do is fill them with new events in my life.

The brain is a funny thing. I wonder if we have a capacity limit on memories? I may only have 30 GB while others are blessed with 60. Is there an expiration date when our most cherished memories get zonked? Poof! Gone...

Am I eating the right foods so that I'll be able to remember my wedding day and the birth of my children well into my senior years? Will a daily vitamin help me restore these files? Everyone knows we are searching for the magic pill to make us younger, slimmer, smarter and more popular.

Already events that I've held onto, that have shaped me, appear to be fuzzy and blurred. I question if I recall them correctly or if I've manipulated the moment in my mind.

Photos can help us visualize and capture time. I can put today in my back pocket. Videos take it a step further but we still are missing the scent in the air. But words, glorious words, can fill a page. If we pick the right ones, everything should come flooding back.

Suddenly my words have found more importance to me in the great scheme of life.

Made You Look!

Thirteen Search Engine Hits

1. "rave soothers" - All the rage for today's babies! 2. "show a picture with a baby filled with soap all over" - There are tons of cute children pictures here but they are all fully clothed. 3. "generalization vs stereotype" - Sing it with me J, J, Judgy J. Who joins the fun? It's the Judgy J! 4. "babyblue need to be rude" - If babyblue needs to be rude, what does midnightblue need to be? 5. "macaroni looks" - Is this some crazy slang that I'm not familiar with? 6. "what kind of feelings and moods do babies show" - All of them. They laugh, giggle, contemplate, get bored, cry, can be frightened and even master a pretty nasty look should the situation call for it. 7. "list of charitable causes" - Plenty to choose from. 8. "tuna addiction" - I love spicy tuna! I think I could eat it every day. Yum... 9. "play pat-a-cake" - An untraditional way. 10. "marshmallow burger" - Not part of a healthy diet. 11. "coco ice t's wife" - This one has me puzzled? Really? You found me with this search? 12. "baby blue dragon with heart tattoo" - Very cool! So did you get it? Want to share a picture? 13. "funny maternity leave poems" - Sorry I haven't written a poem for many years. Unless my Green Beans song counts! By the way, if you're looking for pie search no longer. Crazymumma is dishing it up at MommyBlogsToronto! Links to other Thursday Thirteens:

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Here It Goes Again

I'm looking for some people to join me in a new exercise routine. Any takers?

By the way the results are in for the first round of voting in the 2006 Canadian Blog Awards. Congrats to the final nominees!

I Wanna Be a Cartoon Character

Here I am a la South Park! You have to be a computer genius to get this on your site. Check out some of the others that have already shared their cartoon personas.

The episode where I am the guest star would likely go something like this... I am featured driving around South Park having massive sneezing fits that cause utter mayhem and destruction. By the way, you do know how dangerous it is to sneeze and drive, right? It is completely impossible to keep your eyes open while sneezing.

After killing off many useless celebrities that have over stayed their fifteen minutes of fame, I crash into a lamp post but I am quickly rescued by a group of mommy bloggers and we all go off to the library to have pedicures and cosmopolitans. (Don't look so confused. It doesn't have to make sense!)

Why Can't All Shopping Be Done Online?

This weekend I went to the most dreaded store of stores. Oh, Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall. Where is the worst store of them all? Why of course, it is Walmart. In particular, the one store that is located closest to us. It always appears that this location has been hit by a whirlwind of crazed shoppers. The isles are littered with discarded items while barbaric customers make their way through the mess with no employee in sight. The line-ups at the cash registers are miles long. No one smiles. The cashiers hate their jobs and the customers are on a hunt and destroy mission.

Every time it is a horrible shopping experience and yet I'm a sucker for punishment. It is against my own will that I force myself to enter their doors. I had those cheezoid photos to pick up and thought while I'm there I might as well take advantage of their roll back prices to get a few items. So began the mission. I avoided the other customers with great care, maneuvering my cart away from the piles of items that lay discarded on the floor. I found enough items to satisfy this trip into no man zone. I waited patiently at the check out. The people in front of me were even polite! It was a magical moment. I thought I might escape unscathed.

That was until the stuffed monkey I was purchasing as a gift was rejected by the cashier. She mumbles something about there not being a price tag or bar code and glares at me for bringing this offending item to her line. I told her that it was the only one. Huffily she picks up her phone and announces on the store intercom for the toy department to call her back. She refuses to wait, as we both know that no one actually works in the store. I am forced to pay for all the other items. To continue the masquerade, she gets back on the loud speakers and repeats her call. The next customer's items are rung up. A lone employee walks along gathering up store carts. The cashier asks her if she will help find the monkey price. The cart girl blatantly refuses and tells her to page Diego. The third distress call rings out.

I might add that the monkey might be in the range of five dollars. I wait on the side with my paid for items, slightly amused at the scene playing out. Another customer's items are rung up. There is no sign of Diego. Cart girl saunters by again. The cashier is feeling the weight of my stare and pleads for cart girl to take the monkey to find a price. Reluctantly she agrees and slooooowwly walks away. I watch as two women chat and ignore two children that are acting up. A girl around the age of ten is attempting to push a keypad in the closed cash register area next to them. I give her a look and that warns her what she is doing is wrong and she guiltily looks at the floor. Her younger brother whines.

I no longer feel like this is a worthy way to spend my time. I tell the cashier that this is taking too long but she says that her manager is looking into it. Cart girl is the manager!? Yet another customer makes their way out of the store. The cashier echoes another request on the loud speakers.

Finally her phone rings! More mumbles. I swear she has held the same look of disinterest on her face this whole time. She hangs up her phone and tells me that this is the last item and there is no price so therefore there is nothing she can do. I am in shock!

"So you're telling me that it's not for sale because there is no price tag on it?"

She deadpans a yes in my direction and I am dismissed. They should be giving me the damn five dollar monkey for free with a sincere apology. To wait for that would mean I would never see my children graduate from high school.

I walk away angry with myself for investing that much time into a losing battle. The worst store in the land lives up to their name. As I exit I become crazy shopper and declare to anyone within earshot that I am never shopping there again! Take that Walmart!

I got home and pulled the photos out to show Colin and we discover there is a flaw in the pictures, a scratch in the photo in the exact spot on Every. Single. Print. It is hard to see here but trust me that it is obvious when you hold the photo in your hands.

The scratch must be in this print so IF they agree to reprint the package, I think I should chose a different pose. Which one do you like better?

Alternate One - Sitting outside in the snow.

Or alternate two. Starry night (which strangely looks like the picture of the girls was cut out and imposed on the back drop.)

God help me. I'm going back in...

Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow...

Today brings upon us a season of good tidings yet we started the day off as grumpy as could be. After hastily chowing down cheesy eggs, we grouchily made our way towards the uplifting sounds of marching bands blasting Christmas carols. We hoisted the girls into the chilly air to catch a glimpse of Santa and his crew.

On the walk home, the mood had dramatically changed. I turned to my once surly husband and asked him why he was grinning. He dreamily replied "I saw Santa." It seems I am married to a five year old.

We saw Santa too!!!


While some may think that eating too much turkey causes sleepiness, apparently so does seeing that jolly man with his reindeer.

When we got home and I whipped up a batch of white chocolate macadamia nut cookies to take over to our first Christmas party of 2006!

The princesses unwrapped presents.


Showed off their new shoes!


Munched on broccoli. (The food of Princesses!)


Were wrangled by punk rock Uncle.

At the end of the night, I was giddy on too many glasses of wine. We loaded up the exhausted girls as they squealed with delight that it was snowing! Oh how I love this magical time of year.

More photos will be found on Flickr.

P.S. - Want to bottle up some good karma? Head on over to Mommy Blogs Toronto.

The Wonder Full Party

It's the weekend in pictures - Part One...

There was bread! Cakes and Strawberry enjoyed snacks.


There were toys. Buttercup thinks a slinky might double as an accordion.


There were racing children. Team Butter-Berry pause only for a half a second in the challenge.


There was cake! The blue eyed birthday girl, WonderBaby will have her cake and the whole world too!

Thanks to Her Bad Mother and her father! They know how to do it up right. It was great fun.

Zombies Ate My Brain

I should be doing other things. Possibly reading many-many blogs, baking cookies, putting away toys, cleaning, laundry, watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy, paying bills or even sleeping. Instead I've been avoiding writing this post by adding to my Stylehive. What can I say? I have an addictive personality!

It seems I am brain dead on Friday's. After the workweek ends, creatively I shrivel up like a dried apricot. Better make that jelly because this weekend is going to be jam-packed! Sorry if that made you gag a little. It's just that we do a have a super fun filled weekend extravaganza all lined up. I'm sure I'll have plenty of pictures to share.

Until then I'll leave you with a quick meme that I promised Mrs. Chicky that I would do ages ago. I must have been saving it for this very occasion. The rules are that I am supposed to grab the closest book and tell you lines 5 through 8 on page 123.

"It sounds like someone is taking a huge piss, only no one could drink that much."

Standing in the center of the courtyard (something she hadn't even noticed before since the landlady had rushed her up the back stairs) is a large, circular cement fountain meekly spitting out a thin stream of gray water.

"Is that thing on all the time?"

This is from Our Noise by Jeff Gomez. This debut novel was originally published as a 'zine distributed through mail-order venues and Tower Records. Bret Easton Ellis brought it to the attention of publishers. It is one of hundreds of books collecting dust waiting for me to read.

Driving Each Other Around the Bend

Thirteen She said/He said Pet Peeves about each other. (Thanks to my sweet husband for once again contributing and putting up with me!)

1. He leaves cupboard doors open. 2. She eats ice cream from the container. 3. He doesn't drink anything hot. My visions of romantic Sunday morning's drinking coffee together are shattered. 4. She watches brain numbing, crap entertainment television shows. 5. He makes up his own rules for driving. For example he says that yellow signs are only a suggestion and therefore do not need to be followed. 6. She never fills the car up with gas. 7. He thinks going away on a vacation is a waste of money. 8. She leaves garbage and recycling on the counter, leaving me to get rid of it. 9. He has a crazy method in loading the dishwasher that somehow makes the dishes dirtier than when they went in. 10. She nags me about the dishwasher. 11. He leaves his clothes all around the house. 12. She nags me about the clothes around the house. 13. He used to slam the toilet seat down until we purchased one of these. It is seriously the best invention ever! Links to other Thursday Thirteens:

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Cupcakes for Everyone

Back in high school I ran for President of the Student Council. I didn't win which was fine because as it turned out I was destined to be the Social Director. I'm much more the party planner than the politician any day.

However the real reason that I ran for President was so that I could ask the boy that I was crushing on to be my campaign manager. I'm sure he knew that I was totally into him but he never let on. We planned strategy, speeches and made posters. He lectured me on how he would be forever angry at me if I didn't vote for myself. I told him it just felt wrong to cast my ballot that way but of course I listened to him. I hung off his every word.

After they announced the winners at the high school dance, my campaign manager crush took me in his arms and we danced to "Angel" by Aerosmith. It was my consolation prize. How sad is it that I recall the details so vividly. That was the most that would happen of that romance. I'm sure that I had moved on the following month. I most likely started to fancy the guy who worked in the deli in the local mall. I think my friend and I called him Mystery Meat Man.

I thought of the campaign manager infatuation today because I don't plan on taking his advice. A wonderfully, kind anonymous person nominated me for a 2006 Canadian Blog Award. Thank you who ever you are. I think you have fabulous taste! I can't spare a vote because I have too many amazing friends in the very same category and I've been planning my voting strategy for them. It's my goal to make sure that they are the final nominees! Seriously their blogs are A++ quality control guaranteed.

So please I need your help! Click on this.

You will also find this button in my sidebar. Everyone can vote daily starting TODAY! Don't delay. What are you still doing here? Go! If you find me a tad pushy, please help yourself to another cupcake.

You Are What You Eat

Down, down, down. This is why I shouldn't be doing NaBloPoMo. As a sleep deprived parent, everything gets fuzzy when you are overtired. It’s a steep slope descending into the pit. I'm not in my happy place.

It seems Buttercup has her days and nights mixed up. I'm coming off a marathon twenty-two hour dance party. To send me further into a haze, I'm crashing after drinking buckets of coffee that I've used to keep my motor running.

Today it did not take a scale for me to realize that I've put on some weight. I'm starting to feel like a perogie. Damn that full-length mirror that sits beside the computer desk.

I should be as dedicated in going to the gym as I am about blogging. That would prevent my cords from making that swooshing noise when I walk. Of course, January is right around the corner. Right after New Year's resolutions are made, so begins NaGoGymMo (National Go to the Gym Month.) I always look forward to hearing the same annual radio advertisement that sing songs "Look at me, I'm a pear."

Before that comes the most wonderful time of the year. Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus or Christmas, if you’re a reader that I know through the blogosphere I would love to exchange some holiday cheer in a snail mail card format. Drop me a quick e-mail to cmcreate at gmail dot com and leave me your address. I promise I won't distribute your info to any third party. It's between you, me and the mailman. I got this lovely idea from Chelle. In thanks for your participation, I’ll insert your name into various carols. Jolly good times!

No Plastic Required

It's hard to come up with anything witty when I'm too busy pretend shopping. I'm Stylehiving to beat the band. The only thing better than virtual shopping is to turn it into a game where I have a score! When other people add one of my items to their own list, I get a point. My ultra competitive personality has kicked into overdrive.

I can't stop adding pretty things to my list. Now I just need to arrange for Brangelina to drop a parachute of large bills over my house. How could I possibly go another day without caffeinated soap, cupcake containers, designer ducks or a smores maker?

The stars may be slightly out of whack because I never would have dreamt that I would be sharing the following details.

When you send two guys to get a movie and suggest the new Harrison Ford DVD, imagine my confusion when they return with Matthew McConaughey. Who has possessed my anti-chick flick husband? This has to be the work of a pretty sales girl at Blockbuster.

A very sleepy Strawberry sighs. "Mommy, I need new batteries." This go-go gadget girl never gets tired.

What is the world coming to? Should I be stocking up on candles, bottled water, canned goods and cereal? I think I better buy a bottle of Gin incase of an emergency.

Cross My Heart

"OK, so... so... sometimes I lie. I mean, I'm weird, man. About random stuff too, I don't even know why I do it. It's like... it's like a tick, I mean sometimes I hear myself say something and think, Wow, that wasn't even remotely true." - Garden State

I wish that was the case for me instead it seems that I've been struck with the complete honesty gene. You might think that's a good thing, honorable even, but it makes for a lousy storyteller. I have a wild, active imagination however the only thing I've ever successfully lied about was the excuses I would create for being late for work. A good portion of the time I highly doubt my boss believed me. That didn't stop friends from trying them out at their jobs. Some were so outrageous that my co-workers teased me that I should write a book of them. My theory on lying is to make it so unbelievable that it has to be real.

These attempts were forced lying. Survival lying. I couldn't spout lies for interest sake. I need be able to embellish reality to make the everyday life more blogworthy. I've officially decided that I am unable to pull it off.

I kept delaying writing this very post because I wanted to come out of gates with a tall tale about how I could not go without the words written by Zach Braff. (Really what's not to love?) In my mind it was going to be a hilarious romp to start my introduction to the real blogger that my life would be shattered without. Weeks later, I realize that I don't have it in me. That in itself makes me want to curl up in a ball. I want to be a funny, intelligent writer. I want to be as brilliant as those I read. I love to surround myself with people that I admire with hopes that some of their magical dust will fall upon me.

There are so many talented writers sharing pieces of their lives. In blogland the words sit waiting for others to stumble upon them. I am lucky to have found my way to many of them. Plus I even get to have drinks on occasion with numerous talented, down to earth, real writers. The Southern Ontario Mommy crew rocks it hardcore. I feel privileged to call these women my friends. I am left in a shocked silence because one has called it a day. I often find myself drawn to the empty tub, longing for words to soak in those bubbles.

How can this gap leave me missing someone so dearly when I only knew her from reading her stories? It has made me put my guard up. I realize that there are many strangers that have woven their words so tightly that I've come to believe that I know them. With longtime friends, we rarely get to find out what dwells inside their minds. These new online friends can be anywhere in the world and they are accessible. Morning, noon or night they are there to share stories that fill my heart. They make me laugh, and nod and cry real tears. The topping on the sundae is when they relate to something that I have written with kind words. It makes the days brighter and induces many smiles.

Now I know that they can easily slip away. Vanish. The words themselves wiped away like they were never there. How real are these friendships then? Do they know how important they are to me? Now that I've poured my heart up onto the screen it makes me uncomfortable to name names. But really, I'm not saying I have grand delusions that you are my best friend. I am saying that you have a talent that is rare, the ability to write like nobody's business. I want to thank you for sharing. For bringing your life into 3D Technicolor. And thanks for the sundaes.

For your viewing pleasure

Shhhhh.... I'm sleeping.

The Cow Jumped Over The Moon

Is it possible to be both happy and sad? I'm in a state of confusion. Maybe I'm tricking myself into thinking that I'm in a good mood when I'm truly depressed. Or vice versa.

These feelings are likely brought on by being overtired.

Every aspect of my life piles up on top of one another like a big stack of pillows, while someone does a running leap belly flop and they all tumble... restack... repeat... turning it into an emotional game. Build it up higher now! Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen...

Crash.

My head needs to hit the pillow.

Over on the giddy with delight side you will find many smiles. Lucky for me, the mailman delivered my Fadiddle order. I heart i obsess. Her boutique is as lovely as her words. Her designs make children so very happy.

Make a child happy in Fadiddle. You know you want to!

Blog Today. Tomorrow You May Be Eaten

Thirteen observations on NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month)

1. First rule of BloPoMo - Don't write about BloPoMo. Damn, I'm kicked out of another club. Actually we all seem pretty obsessed over this challenge hence copious chatter about posting. 2. Whatever you do don't whine about it. However griping about not enough hours in the day is okay right? 3. Quantity over Quality. I don't want to write just for the sake of writing. That is like talking just to be heard. I'd never do THAT! 4. When I was chillin' with the Toronto mommy's, they mentioned that I am stressing them out with the daily blather. I'm sorry. You all deserve treats! I have plenty of sugary Halloween candy that should vacate my house before I consume them in a BloPo haze. 5. I also must apologize that I am slipping behind in my commenting on my visiting list. I will be right over after I pay for my bad behavior. One hundred lines of I will visit you and profess my undying love. I will visit you and profess my undying love. I will visit you and profess… 6. I got the Gumby button from Genie Alisa. Thank you! It's not as popular as the official buttons. I'm alternative like that. 7. I could spend hours clicking on the randomizer thanks to Lane. I love seeing what fellow participants are writing. I'm sorry that I'm not leaving comments every where that I randomly land. I must admit that I'm fascinated to see the design of your sites. There are some fancy places out there. Even if you are not participating, I dare you to try the randomizer. It's addictive. 8. How come in all the bazillion times that I've clicked the randomizer, I have never landed on my own site? From my site meter, I can see other people have made their way over by this method. It would be a rush to come across your own site by chance. I imagine it to be similar to hearing your own song on the radio. Gather round everybody. It's me! Oh yes, it doesn't take much to give me a boost. 9. I've been running into virtual pets everywhere I go. Please don't tell me this is a requirement because I would be doomed to add a pet spider in honor of the real life Miss Spiders that camp out in our basement. I choose to ignore bugs instead of acknowledging their presence. I can't bring myself to kill them. 10. This exercise is supposed to make us better writers and gain readership. So far I'm not so sure that I am an example of either. However amazingly, someone did start their own blog and named it after my Mac and Cheese recipe. How cool is that? 11. Rashenbo and guests are reviewing the 2,019 blogs one letter at a time. She's got the stats and the shout outs. This is dedication at its finest! 12. Prizes! There are so many prizes! People are dropping out like flies. This is a personal challenge but if I could get some free coffee from Mocha Momma that would be sweet! 13. The insecurity in me wonders if all the nonparticipating bloggers look down at us as if we are bandwagon jumpers. Really my parents did teach me not to jump off the bridge even if the other kids are doing it. Anyways I'm much too afraid to jump. Links to other Thursday Thirteens AND other participants of NaBloPoMo:

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Deep Thoughts

I'm running out of time. Where did the day go? I keep trying to form introspective ideas but who am I kidding. There is no time. It's not even that I've run out of topics.

I need to spread a thick layer of love, share thoughts on preschool, continue my album countdown and that's just the tip of the iceberg. I spent too much time browsing. At least now I've got style. But I'm running out of time. Quick can I squeeze an extra hour into today? No! Precious minutes escape me. Must post. Must post.

Those thoughts will take shape and come to life. Don't worry; I haven't discovered a new interest in ridding my house of dust bunnies. I will fight the good fight and share the words. They are coming. The creative juices overflow. They are all hopped up on sugar and caffeine.
Hmmm... a nice cup of tea. I think I need to put the kettle on.

D is for Divorce

Dear Brit,

It was just as shocking as Reese and Ryan. However this time I'm filled with jubilation as you have decided to take my advice. You've turned your second husband into Fed-Ex.

It was kind of harsh with the timing. He's facing public humiliation on a press tour where crowds are being asked not to boo his arrival. Oh boo who? I almost feel sorry for him. Actually I feel worse for the PR person asking the crowds for favours.

Look at you my strong sista. You go girl! I want to know what took you so long. Now remember to not chew gum if Matt wants to chat about this.

P.S. Would you like a possible suitor list? I'm sure we could come up with a couple of suggestions.

Surprise Guest Post

Today Buttercup walked five steps. At Daycare. I am wallowing in self pity because I did not witness her first steps. There was no repeat performance no matter how much I pleaded and cheered this evening.

This is where my post would have ended but I found a surprise e-mail. Even though he's had a starring role featured here as my husband, after meeting the mommy bloggers, maybe he's been inspired to take it up a notch. Plus why didn't I think of it earlier? It is pure genius to include guest writers in November! This is the first entry by niloc, my backwards husband.

So Jana started this crazy NoBlowSomething post a day for the month of November and I understand what a challenge it can be to write consistently for a whole month. She has asked me for help but I know she meant around the house or with the girls. I don’t think she would expect to find this in her email or if she would even use it in a pinch or not. (I totally expect to be edited in some way or other.) I don’t know the rules for the post a day thing. A post is a post. It doesn’t really matter who writes it.

Today I was feeling the dent that I put into that vodka bottle last night. Waking up with the baby on the couch was a bit of a surprise this morning. The rest of the day was muddy and it took us forever to get the ball rolling just to get out of the house to get groceries. The girls were also cranky and tired to top it all off. It would have been a great night to veg out and curse the beginning of another work week… but I had a concert to go to.

…And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead (yes, that’s the real name of the band) are from Austin, Texas and are one of those bands that won’t ever have a Top 40 hit. They fit into the college radio, emo/alt rock/punk sound that I love. I try to catch them every time they come to town. Their shows always sell out so I was happy to get my tickets early from Rotate This. I called my brother up to make plans for when and where to meet before the show and he tells me he’s tired and didn’t feel like going. He's younger, with no kids, what kind of excuse is that? The ticket was paid for so no big deal. It was only 20 bucks. I’ve sold tickets at the door before. It was just a bit of a pain in the ass that he copped out on me. I got to the Phoenix early enough to try and sell it but gave up after twenty minutes or so. More kids were coming out of the bar than there were going in. I hate wasting a ticket. I would have given it away to a fan if I had the chance. When I did go in the doorman overly scrutinized my ID. Next year I am going to be twice the legal drinking age and I’m being sized up by some dummy no-neck bouncer. Instead of being annoyed, I guess I should act like a chick and take it as a compliment.

Anyways… the point of all of this is that the Trail of Dead has a song called "Will You Smile Again?" that reminds me of a good friend. The creative energy whether you are an author or a musician is the same but louder. The lyrics explain the need to express yourself. This is something that every writer must relate to.

"...the paper's your soul and your blood's in the pen
And maybe then you'd see the light
And read the truth that you had to write."

Why This Could Never Be A Food Blog

I'm feeling a wee bit under the weather. While I'm surprisingly not feeling like the martini truck has run me over, the never ending fight with the germs from daycare rages on. On days like these I need comfort food.

Super Cheesy, Really Easy, Baked Mac and Cheese

1 can Cheddar Cheese Soup
½ can Milk
1 teaspoon Prepared Mustard
a sprinkle of Pepper
2½ cups of hot cooked Macaroni (pictured above is Shells but we prefer Scoobi Do)
½ cup shredded cheddar cheese
½ of a ham steak cubed (optional)
2 teaspoons Margarine or Butter, melted
1 tablespoon Dry Bread Crumbs

Cook your choice of Macaroni. In a casserole dish combine soup, milk, mustard and pepper. Stir in macaroni. Add in a portion of the shredded cheese and ham if you so desire. Combine melted margarine and bread crumbs. Sprinkle over casserole. Top with the remainder of the cheese. Bake at 400 degrees F. for 20 minutes.

No gourmet delights are found here however this dish is one of my family's favourites. I feel better already.

Now to completely veer off topic. It seems this weekend that all the unfriendly dads have been running amuck. Today at the grocery store I had both girls in the shopping cart. We detoured for a pit stop to admire the lobsters and crabs. Strawberry is fascinated by them. A little boy ran up to check them out. Feeling friendly I half joked to his dad that this was the highlight of the shopping trip. He said nothing and gave me a dirty look and scurried his son off in the opposite direction. This was two for two in pissing off the stranger dads. Good thing I'm not a single mom!

Their First Rave

This afternoon we took the girls to their first rave. It was a dance party for children. The DJ was spinning retro. He played "Hungry Like The Wolf" and then "Jessie's Girl!" It was my kind of party.

But Strawberry was feeling too shy so we hung back. At one point she started to get her groove on and she did a break dance move. I tugged on Colin's pant leg only to look up and realize that I was offending some other dad. Eek! He didn't look impressed. If only he had a few adult beverages he might have laughed.

We hope we tuckered our girls out for the babysitter because we're off to holla it up! I hope to have more substance for NaBloPoMo tomorrow.

Madame Mix-A-Lot

Inspired by Nonlinear Girl's daughter, here is a song that we sing around these parts.

I like green beans and I cannot lie
You other folks can't deny
They're really quite delicious
And oh so very nutritious.

Colin's To Do List

Thirteen of Colin's Favorite Celebrities

1. Ashley Judd 2. Scarlett Johanson 3. Natalie Portman 4. Liz Phair 5. Rachel McAdams 6. Milla Jovovich 7. Rose McGowan 8. Kate Beckinsale 9. Charlize Theron 10. Cindy Crawford 11. Shirley Manson 12. Helena Bonham Carter 13. Isabella Rossellini While I wish him luck with his list, I think I should inject a little rambling to steer me away from being consumed with jealousy of their beauty. While it is obvious that it is easy to be simulated visually, I find that I am audio aroused. Hearing the sexy sounds of John Mayer, Dave Grohl, Trent Reznor and Scott Weiland can be more of a turn on than an image. Listening to a song can make me melt. Do you think this is more of a female trait or do men find themselves aurally fixated too? Feel free to poll any man that is around you. Although, a quick word of advise, you may wish to refrain from using the word orally. Links to other Thursday Thirteens:

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